In 2005, I made some bold predictions for the coming year, none of which came true. So sue me. Better yet, heed my ideas and create a better world.

For example, number four on my list was:

4. BRAT TAX GOES INTO EFFECT
Everyone knows brats are painful to be around. But new studies showing that brats, when grown, generate massive social costs (increased criminality, incessant whining and demands for public services) lead to a nation-wide movement for a brat tax. With “Make Perp Parents Pay” as their campaign slogan, advocates of the new tax garner bipartisan support. Millions of supermarket checkers and waiters are deputized as enforcers.

In light of recent events where a notorious brat, who for sport, we’ll refer to as “Madrid Marriott,” fought the law and the law won.

(Except for a moment when the sheriff thought he was a judge. But then the judge threatened the sheriff with contempt of court, which could lead to possible jail time for the sheriff. Of course, the sheriff could then order himself to serve his time at a spa in Carmel. Oy!)

Anyway, with a brat tax in effect, this porny young thing’s parents would be forced to cough up some big penalties. The whole world would testify to the child’s aggressive brattiness. We’d all have the satisfaction of soaking the rich and spanking the parents.

Who knows, it could spawn a new reality show.