by Burt Prelutsky

In case you missed it, on his first mission as Secretary of State, John Kerry boasted to a group of Germans “In America, you have a right to be stupid.” A right?! For years now, the Democrats have relied on it to win elections. As for horse-faced John Kerry, were it not for the terminally stupid, he would have spent the last 30 years not in the Senate, but in a stable.

Speaking of stupid, I believe that Barack Obama has badly miscalculated the aftereffects of the Sequester. Perhaps it’s because he, himself, is always campaigning that he has confused 2013 with an election year. If the results of his notion of across the board cuts in various federal agencies are half as terrible as he’s been warning, it’s he who will be blamed. And not just because Bob Woodward said that it was all his idea, but because his waging war on Congress is a truly dumb strategy.

For one thing, although Congress is nearly always unpopular, most people don’t mind their own representatives. That’s why incumbents are generally re-elected. For another thing, most Americans will forgive just about anything; the exceptions to that rule are those crybabies who go through life blaming their own failures on others. In Obama’s case, he has done nothing but bash Bush and Republicans ever since he was first elected. I suspect even Michelle is getting a little tired of it.

Ironically, the one thing he can take credit for is ObamaCare, and that is just about the most universally despised piece of legislation since the invention of income tax.

By whining about Congress when the next elections are more than a year-and-a-half off, Obama makes himself the handiest target for those looking to curse out someone for long lines at the airport or any of those other Doomsday events he has predicted. But as Secretary of State Kerry said, Obama has every right to be stupid. It would just make for a nice change if he didn’t take advantage of that right quite so often.

The U.S. doesn’t have a monopoly on stupidity. On the other side of the world, South Africa’s favorite amputee, Oscar Pistorius, would have us believe that in spite of a history of domestic violence, he shot and killed his girlfriend, Reeve Steenkamp, because he mistook her for an intruder. Somehow I doubt if the leggy blonde model had actually snuck into his home, Pistorius’s normal reaction would have been to shoot her. I understand that even in South Africa, a person is presumed innocent until proven guilty, but I’m just saying that if I were the judge, he’d have to do better than that.

But, then, I’m not a liberal. I swear those folks will believe anything. For instance, when “global-warming” became “climate-change,” they never missed a step. Ginger Rogers didn’t follow Fred Astaire the way these loons follow Obama’s lead. Even when all the bad things went from being Bush’s fault to being the fault of obstructionists in Congress, you never heard any of them complain, “Hey, what about Bush? Why are we letting him off the hook?”

In the meantime, drone attacks, Gitmo and the Patriot Act, which were all regarded as fascistic just a few short years ago, were all accepted as damn good ideas once they were being promoted by a Democrat. For that matter, look how easily they went from declaring homosexuality a mental disease to being a civil right, and the notion of same-sex marriages went from being a bad joke to being a fairy tale with Barack Obama in the role of the Fairy Godmother.

This brings us to the Academy Awards. First, let me confess that I was completely blindsided. I was so certain that “Lincoln,” a movie I didn’t like, was going to sweep the Oscars for Best Movie, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Actor, I would have bet a lot of money on it if I had stumbled across a sucker. As it was, only Daniel Day-Lewis got to go home a winner, while “Argo” and “The Life of Pi,” two other movies I didn’t care for, split up the other three major awards. The biggest surprise was that “Argo,” whose director, Ben Affleck, wasn’t even nominated, was judged the best of the year. Even in the early days of the Oscars, when they only nominated three directors, it was highly unusual that the fellow at the helm of the winner was so rudely snubbed. However deserving the snubbing may have been, Affleck was also one of the producers, so he still got to run on stage and make a spectacle of himself.

I must confess that when the evening’s host Seth MacFarlane first came on stage, I thought I had somehow tuned in on a TV game show or the local weather guy, so neat was his hair, so dazzling his smile, so unknown his name. All in all, I thought MacFarlane was okay. Not as good as Steve Martin, but much better than Whoopi Goldberg and David Letterman. And at least we were spared those dreadful Debbie Allen production numbers with the silly laser beams and the dancers dressed up like characters from the various films.

As it turned out, they saved the worst for last. For some unfathomable reason, they decided to devote time to a musical number titled “Boobs,” in which Mr. MacFarlane sang about all the movie actresses in recent years who have managed to convince themselves that it is not gratuitous sex, but, rather, essential to the artistic integrity of some dopey movie that they bare their breasts. They somehow ignore the fact that the likes of Ingrid Bergman, Jean Arthur, Bette Davis, Mary Astor, Loretta Young, Irene Dunne, Barbara Stanwyck, Katherine Hepburn, Rita Hayworth, Carole Lombard, Judy Garland and Meryl Streep, all managed to somehow carve out reasonably successful careers while keeping their blouses on.

At least once they got the part.