With tongue firmly in cheek, Gavin McInnes explains how right-wingers waged a war on women. NSFW

…Going back over the past half century, it’s impossible not to see a vast right-wing conspiracy to strip women of everything that makes them women and convert them into sex toys who take out the garbage.

The war began simply enough. In the 1960s, men decided they wanted to see more tits. The Republicans created an organization that encouraged women to burn their bras. Almost overnight, men were treated to breasts of all shapes and sizes swinging freely in thin T-shirts. As we gazed at their pendulous cans, we told women they were expressing their freedom and teaching us a lesson about uncomfortable underwear or something. Conservatives never lost momentum with the “dump ’em out” movement and as recently as 1992 removed all barriers between my eyeballs and funbags.

Inspired by this remarkable victory, the GOP began a “war of the sexes” that would garner as much sex as possible for men. The biggest obstacle they had was the fact that women can create life. This makes them less likely to spread their legs for every Tom, Dick, and Harry who comes along. The solution to this was simple: trivialize it. Make women think it’s an irrelevant detail that’s downright disgusting. This took some convincing, but today it’s not unusual to see a young woman turn her nose up at the act like it’s the same as shitting out a tumor.

Once getting pregnant was seen as some kind of revolting accident, getting laid was way easier. Republicans encouraged birth control and created a “Free Love” movement where men could bed whomever they wanted without consequences. Those stupid enough to buy the cow when they were getting the milk for free invented key parties, where married men would exchange wives for a night. This led to a massive divorce epidemic, which sucks at first but ultimately means more sex partners for men. It’s a win-win.