Adam Gadahn, aka “Azzam the American,” writes like a native jihadi. His latest missive begins:

All praise is due to Allah, creator of the heavens and the earth, and prayers and peace be upon the messenger of Allah and his companions, family, and followers until the Day of Judgment.

Do they assign hot-keys for that boilerplate? Is there a special jihadi keyboard with buttons assigned for that purpose?

This is not a call for negotiations. We don’t negotiate with baby-killers and war criminals like you. No, these are legitimate demands, which must be met, and your failure to heed our demands and the demands of reason means that you and your people will, Allah willing, experience things, which will make you forget all about the horrors of September 11, Afghanistan and Iraq, and Virginia Tech. And let us be clear: A pull-out from Iraq alone, in the absence of compliance with the remainder of our legitimate demands, will get you nowhere, and will not save you from our strikes. So stop wasting your time and trying to save face with these futile farcical maneuvers on Capital Hill and start making some serious moves.

And, of course, a spittle guard for the monitor.

You may wonder, who is this chowderhead and where did he come from? The New Yorker ran a long profile on our homegrown jihadi last January, tracing his path from death metal (music) to death to infidel.

Adam Gadahn’s nom de guerre is Azzam al-Amriki (Azzam the American). He can fluently recite the Koran in classical Arabic, and, since the late nineteen-nineties, when he joined the jihad, his English has acquired a vaguely Middle Eastern accent.

At times, he speaks in what might be called Jihadlish—a peculiar fusion of American vernacular and militant Islamist theory. Gadahn may be the first Al Qaeda operative to lace a religious threat with a reference to Monopoly. (“If you die as an unbeliever in battle against the Muslims, you’re going straight to hell, without passing Go.”) Or to adopt the bluster of a barroom pundit. (“Whoever takes over for Bush probably won’t have the guts to bring the troops home.”)

Once, referring to Abu Jahal, an early enemy of Islam known as the Father of Ignorance, Gadahn said, “I can’t forget the day, when, as I was praying a prescribed prayer with one of the brothers in a shopping-center parking lot in suburban America, a man sped by in his sports-utility vehicle shouting from his open window, ‘Worship Jesus, your Lord.’ The gas guzzler, cell phone, and college diploma notwithstanding, one couldn’t help but be reminded of Abu Jahal in the seventh century, abusing the Prophet while he prayed.”