To commemorate the death of Swedish film director Ingmar Bergman, Iowahawk has reprised his script from one of his rejected film projects. Here’s an excerpt from his excerpt:

OPENING MONTAGE
Slow motion shots of the General Sundqvist ‘69 Volvo jumping over broken bridges and misty fjords

THEME (By the Kronos Quartet with vocals by ABBA)
Just the good ol’ boys
Filled with guilt and ennui
They’re bored, racked with discord
Just hangin’ by the fjord
Scarred emotionally

Masking their pain
The only way they know how
Just a bit more existentialist
Than their souls will allow

Just them good ol’ boys
Wouldn’t change if they could
Psychically crippled
Like two planks of Danish teak wood

Yee. Ha.

SCENE 1
Interior shot of a backwoods cabin in rural Georgia. The room is tastefully decorated with Bruno Mathsson lounge chairs, Eero Saarinen side tables, a rebel flag and moonshine still. An old bearded man lies on a vintage midcentury Alvar Aalto death bed.

NARRATOR (Gunnar Biörnstrand)
Just plumb about everybody in Hazzard County has a story to tell ’bout them Duke boys and their existential auto-didactism. This one starts back at the farm, where Bo ‘n’ Luke are about to find out that Uncle Jesse has a little surprise in store for ‘em…

UNCLE JESSE (Max Von Sydow)
Bo, Luke. Come to my side, nephews.

(Cousins Bo and Luke, scions of Uncle Jesse’s crumbling moonshine dynasty, enter.)

LUKE (Börje Ahlstedt)
What is it you want, Uncle?

(Bo and Luke exchange long, blank glance; a Hans Wegner clock ticks on a far wall)