Scrappleface:

New York Gov. David Paterson, who replaced disgraced former Gov. Eliot Spitzer this month, today added to his previous revelations of marital infidelity, and marijuana and cocaine use, by claiming that he has also sniffed glue, tagged subway cars with graffiti, bet on dog fights, driven with his seatbelt unbuckled while talking on a cell phone and fired several shots from the grassy knoll on Dealey Plaza on November 22, 1963.

At his regular daily confessional news conference, Gov. Paterson played down the significance of his past indiscretions, noting that he’s like many New Yorkers who have experimented with everything from “huffing freon to plotting an assassination at the age of nine.”

“I haven’t tried any of that stuff since the 1970s,” said Gov. Paterson, “with the exception of violating my marriage covenant, of course. But the glue, the dogs, the graffiti, the risky driving, the lying-in-wait for the motorcade…that’s all behind me now.”