Jonah Goldberg and Frank J. Fleming:

Ever have someone comment on your job who has absolutely no experience whatsoever at it? It’s quite annoying. Now imagine millions of similarly unknowledgeable rubes constantly heckling you, but now they actually have a say on how you do things and could have you fired for disagreeing with them. If you can begin to fathom how unfair — downright mean — that would feel, then you’ll have some understanding for the plight of the politician at the hands of voters.

A politician’s job is as complex as it is important. Without politicians, the U.S. would be thrown into chaos. They run government, and government is the thin line separating us from animals. Were politicians to fail, our entire nation could collapse. Imagine where you’d be if — for just the briefest of moments — Dennis Kucinich weren’t watching out for you like a hawk.

With so much riding on their shoulders, you’d think we’d want to do everything we could to make sure they’re not disturbed and can give their full attention to their work. Instead, politicians’ jobs are constantly interrupted by callous, fickle voters mewling for attention.

How can you tell when a voter is lying? Easy — see whether his mouth is moving. Voters claim they want smaller government while demanding handouts. They say they hate negative campaigns while their blood lust is conspicuous. They’re basically violent schizophrenics. Is it any wonder some politicians are driven to prostitutes just to experience some basic humanity? Given the constant sniping of the American public, is it any wonder that Hillary Clinton thinks she was under sniper fire?

Even when voters do honestly ask for what they want, as surely as the sun rises they will later punish the politician for doing exactly what “we” asked them to do. One day voters will say, “That country is bad! Let’s go to war with them! Do as we demand, or be punished!” Then the next day, they’ll shout, “This is too hard! It was a horrible idea, and it’s all your fault, politicians! You will be punished for this!” This is the sort of behavior we’ve come to expect from spoiled princes and 3-year-olds.