Maggies Farm:

I’m not sure what to say to my Republican friends anymore.

I honestly thought all the pearl clutching paranoids pulled the lever with the D next to it, but I guess I was mistaken. You ran the least attractive candidate possible for President and lost by a little and you’re ready to commit suicide in your Ayn Rand bunker after you’re finished homeschooling your kids.

It’s tiresome stuff. I’m going to try to explain it to you one more time. Obama, and all his accomplices in his co-prosperity sphere, are not “secret” anythings. Not secret muslims, socialists, communists, antichrists or Illuminati. He’d adore it if you spent the next eight years looking for his birth certificate, because he knows it’s a colossal waste of his enemies’ time, and that’s a natural born fact.
It’s a straight plunder economy. Why are you so confused and surprised about this? You keep talking about all sorts of ill effects that are going to appear in decades and verify your wild hypothesis about the guy. But the effects are always immediate and visible. He’s not playing a deep game here.I take that back. Maybe he is. He’s confused a lot of people into thinking he’s confusing.

Poor Rich Moran. He’s all shocked that maybe car dealership closings under the watchful eye of Democrat mandarins are going to fall along party lines, and figures it’s earthshaking.

Very Drudgey, that. Kinda goofy too. It’s goofy because if the car dealer thing is true, you’re just wearing a sandwich board advertising for Obama by harping on it if you’re not in a position to do anything about it. It’s unwise to wound a tyrant. Drudge didn’t get famous by noticing fat interns wear dresses. It was a particular dress that had to be produced.

It’s a straight spoils system, you deep-thinking knuckleheads. You think there was a cabal involved, meeting in a Hyatt deciding this stuff, the way Kos kids think corporations meet once a year to set prices for everything from ramen noodles to gasoline. It’s so much simpler than that. Find a constituency the Democratic Party lords over that isn’t getting direct cash payments in one form or another from a government entity. I’ll wait, but I won’t hold my breath until you get back.

Everyone’s job, if you want to call it that, in this ward-heeler-on-steroids machine, is to determine immediately who’s able to help you loot the treasury to buy patronage. That’s it. Everyone on your team is either directly on board, or exists to help you launder the money. Everyone else is either a cow to be milked, –or if you actively oppose them — a pig to be slaughtered. Unlike the mafia and the Republican version of patronage, no one is considered a “civilian.” Help push the wagon with all the Huey Longs in it, or get under the wheels. Every one in charge now knows this instinctively. They don’t need a list from Obama. Sonia Sotomayor won’t need a daily refresher on how to play “Find the conservative and hurt him.”

The uncovering of wrongdoing by the denizens of the few pockets of classical liberal thought on the web will consist of this: Bringing attention to the fact that it’s not safe to support a Republican to your only readers — conservatives — while whining that Katie Couric and Pinch Sulzberger refuse to pay enough attention.Then you’ll make with “This Story Is About To Explode…

You’re not prepared to follow up on a real scandal. And if you’re going for just the appearance of impropriety against Democrats, you’re double daft. Maybe you blog the hell out of it to people that don’t read blogs, and convince the average American that car dealers (!) require their sympathy, if you can’t find any child molesters or terrorists to tout, but I have my doubts.

To recap, everyone hears only this from your spiel:

1.The uncovering of wrongdoing will not diminish the power of this administration and their friends.

2.It’s not news unless Katie Couric says it and The New York Times prints it and gets paid to report it.

3.It’s not safe to contribute money to Republicans.

That strategy should work great for 2010, and 2012. When you’re all done touting home delivery of the Times and reminding the elderly shut-ins to watch CBS, maybe you guys can find a fellow conservative you can accuse of racism to prove how open minded you are — to people who would put you in a wood chipper, feet first, for a nickel. There might be a conservative left somewhere. If he’s a car dealer, he’ll be unemployed.