Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody

James Lewis at The American Thinker:

There’s a funny story about Barack Obama at Harvard Law, both funny-ha-ha and funny-peculiar. It involves one of those cloud-borne Himalayan intellects of liberalism, Professor Larry Tribe, the Tyler Professor of Constitutional Law at one of the most prestigious law schools in the United States. Tribe is the legal giant who is always a bridesmaid but never a bride for the Supremes.

And yea verily, the Professor met and held converse with The Blessed Lightworker Himself back in the nineties. The story doesn’t say if they were both stoned out of their minds when they got together, but it’s the only explanation I can think of. What happened is so weird and so discreditable to all concerned that I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Still, nobody in the liberal media seems to get the joke…which tells you a lot.

Professor Tribe, it appears, made it really big in academic law by writing trendy postmodern articles like “Toward a Syntax of the Unsaid: Construing the Sounds of Congressional and Constitutional Silence,” “The Constitution in Cyberspace,” “Toward a Metatheory of Free Speech,” “Trial by Mathematics,” and even “Seven Deadly Sins of Straining the Constitution through a Pseudo-Scientific Sieve,” which turned it all into self-parody, because pseudo-science is exactly what made Larry Tribe’s big reputation. This academic disease is commonly described as “physics envy.” It arises out of academic inferiority complexes, with everybody wanting to do fake physics because that is real science.

If you remember those old po-mo days, that kind of stuff was standard pomotwaddle designed to impress innocent young students and the Board of Trustees. No sane person believed it. Alan Sokal famously hoaxed a po-mo journal into accepting a nonsense physics article, and then revealed their ignorance to the world. Postmodernism never recovered.

Professor Tribe comes right out of a great comedy tradition of long-winded professors spouting obvious claptrap to fool the suckers. Shakespeare used that gag with Polonius in Hamlet. Groucho Marx used it. Molière became famous for his “scholar” in the suckered Bourgeois Gentleman. Greek and Roman comedy writers used it. Every humorist in history has used that shtick, because it’s funny. But it takes a postmodern professor of law to make it real.

By the ’90s Larry Tribe had risen to become the Tyler Professor of Constitutional Law, based on the depth and profundity of his cockamamie legal scholarship. I guess. And then, a magical moment in history when great minds meet…it was Michelangelo and Leonardo, Plato and Socrates, Larry, Moe and Curly.

Barack Hussein Obama Barry Soetoro, Jr. walks into Larry Tribe’s office.

Now you can’t blame Obama for this one. Poor kid, he just wandered into the big professor’s office one day, right off the beach at Waikiki by way of LA and Columbia, a real stoner with a chip on his shoulder about race, because that was the in thing to do. It was a great time for radical chic. Racial rage was the way to get into Harvard in the ’90s. Here was a black guy, or close enough, and he had a radical idea for Larry Tribe: Why not apply Albert Einstein to Constitutional law? I mean, why not?

Hilarious. Read it all.

Another one of Oliver Stone’s pals (Castro being numero uno), Hugo Chavez, is showing just how nutty he is by digging up Simon Bolivar’s bones.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez ordered Bolivar’s tomb be opened because he suspects he was murdered.

Most accounts maintain Bolivar died from tuberculosis in Colombia in 1830.

Mr Chavez announced the exhumation of his hero on Twitter, saying he “wept with emotion”.

“What impressive moments we have lived tonight. We have seen the bones of the Great Bolivar!” he tweeted from the national pantheon in Caracas.

“That glorious skeleton must be Bolivar, because his flame can be felt. Bolivar lives!” he added.

I’d say his bones prove otherwise.

More than 50 experts including criminal investigators and forensic pathologists have been examining the remains to see if Bolivar was the victim of a conspiracy rather than disease, according to Venezuela’s attorney-general, Luisa Ortega Diaz.

“We have important discoveries that will be announced to the nation at the appropriate moment,” she said.

Maybe Chavez is being wily, using the Bolivar shtick to distract his people from his ruinous rule.

But the biggest question is where’s Geraldo in this story?

The 73-year-old great grandson of Alexander Graham Bell was sentenced Friday to life in prison without parole for quietly spying for Cuba for nearly a third of a century from inside the State Department. His wife was sentenced to 5 1/2 years.

Retired intelligence analyst Kendall Myers said he meant his country no harm and stole secrets only to help Cuba’s people who “have good reason to feel threatened” by U.S. intentions of ousting the communist Castro government.

Idiot. The Cuban people have been damaged — jailed, murdered and held back economically– by Castro and this thug regime.

In a sentencing memo to the judge, prosecutors said Myers, a descendant of Bell, the inventor of the first practical telephone, was a child of wealth and privilege, attended a private boarding school in Pennsylvania and Brown University and obtained a doctorate from Johns Hopkins University.

“Kendall Myers could have been anything he wanted to be,” they wrote. “He chose to be a Cuban spy.”

Lucky for Myers that he won’t be doing time in one of Castro’s prisons.

Julio Cesar Galvez also took the occasion to denounce the terrible prison conditions in Cuba, where sometimes as many as 40 prisoners share a cell infested with rats, cockroaches and other pests. They are often fed nothing more than water boiled with plantain peels.

Not only are the political prisoners subject to such harsh conditions, so are common criminals are as well. Many of them suffer from dengue fever and tuberculosis. Normando Hernandez Gonzalez, another freed dissident, said prison officials ignore the pleas of those who have fallen ill, leading many to fall into despair and commit self-inflicted wounds in order to gain the medical attention they need.

For this reason, Omar Rodriguez demanded the Cuban government allow the U.N. to visit prisons on the island and assess their conditions. Julio Cesar Galvez went even further and said U.N. inspectors should be allowed in “to show what is happening inside Cuba.”

Rodriguez also quoted a famous statement by Fidel Castro—“Ideas cannot be killed”—and said, “Neither can ideas be kidnapped or exiled, that is our message to the Cuban government.”

by Burt Prelutsky

It’s no wonder that Rahm Emanuel, who could play the villain in a James Bond movie, looks a little bit like the Wicked Witch of the West, and who famously said that a crisis is a terrible thing to waste, has found a home in Obama’s White House.  When the president suggested that the oil leak could lead to his raising taxes at the gas pump, I could easily imagine Mr. Emanuel standing off-camera chuckling like a crone and rubbing his hands together.

            One thing you have to say for Obama is that he thinks big.  Not satisfied with merely destroying our economy and jeopardizing the well being of older Americans, he did the same to England and its seniors when he began threatening British Petroleum with criminal charges.  The value of BP stock, which had already been teetering because of the tragic events in the Gulf, plummeted, and with it, the dividend checks of English pensioners.  I could almost hear Emanuel’s chortling, “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”

            If he could, I am convinced that Barack Obama would tax the air we breathe.  In fact, with Cap & Trade, I think he can.  After all, in cahoots with Pelosi and Reid, he has already found any number of ways to tax our patience.

            Although I still entertain the hope that Harry Reid will be sent off into the Nevada sunset in November, I know that Nancy Pelosi will be re-elected.  But however I feel about her, it really is a wonder that San Francisco, the only freak show in America with its own city charter, has a congressional representative who so closely resembles a normal human being.  Still, every time I look at her awe-struck face and hear that spooky little girl voice, I recall a storyline from the “Li’l Abner” comic strip.  The long-time senator from Dogpatch, Jack S. Phogbound, was facing certain defeat in an upcoming election until he gave one final campaign speech.  He told the voters that if he lost, he would be moving back home, whereas if they re-elected him, they wouldn’t see hide or hair of him for another six years.  He won in a landslide.

            I’d like to think that helps explain why people like Charles Rangel, Henry Waxman and Robert Byrd, haven’t had to do an honest day’s work in their entire lives.

            The two main reasons I want to see the GOP take back the House in November is that I want the brakes applied to Obama’s radical transformation of America, and I want to see Pelosi, as the ex-Speaker of the House, have to hand over the keys to that colossal jet that she’s been using as her personal cross-country shuttle, all the while prattling on about America’s dependence on fossil fuels.

            What she refuses to acknowledge is that fossil fuels literally fuel our industrialized nation, whereas the jumbo jet merely fuels Pelosi’s jumbo-sized ego.