by Burt Prelutsky

When I consider the brouhaha over the mosque at Ground Zero, the question that springs to mind isn’t why Islamics chose such a provocative site, but, rather, why so many Americans feel compelled to pander to Muslims.

            Now, I understand that Mayor Bloomberg, being a New York liberal, assumes he is the perfect person to lecture the rest of us about religious tolerance.  Lecturing, after all, is what liberals think they’re best at, be it from a political dais, a college lectern, a judicial bench or the editorial page of the New York Times.  Still, with the enthusiastic endorsement of his colleagues in the media, Bloomberg takes idiocy to new levels.  He actually believes that Muslims should be encouraged to erect a 13-story victory structure on sacred ground because we live in a democracy.  On the other hand, this lover of freedom and liberty, Nanny Bloomberg, has taken it upon himself to deprive New Yorkers of their right to consume trans fats and salt.

            I certainly understand why Barack Obama’s initial instinct was to back the building of the mosque, and it certainly wasn’t just because he was addressing a group of Muslims at a Ramadan dinner.  That was certainly the venue, and Obama, like most people, enjoys applause, which is why we always get to see him addressing union members and deep-pocket Democrats at fund-raising events.  But the main reason he backed the mosque is because, no matter where he may have been born, there is a basic disconnect between him and this nation.

            That may sound far-fetched, considering that he was elected president of the United States less than two years ago, garnering about 63 million votes.  But that was after he and the MSM had successfully pulled the wool over a great many eyes.  He has now had time to show his true colors in his America-bashing speeches; by his banishing the little statue of Churchill, while kowtowing to Saudi royalty; by his assuming with no facts at hand that a white Cambridge police officer was stupid and clearly in the wrong; by refusing to connect the Fort Hood assassin or any of the other terrorists with Islam; declining even to prosecute the New Black Panthers for intimidating white voters.  Heck, this clown won’t even cross his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance.

            I used to be so naïve that I assumed the reason that Obama attended Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s racist church for 20 years was merely a means to worm his way into Chicago’s black community so that he could pursue a career in politics.  I have since come to believe that Obama shares Wright’s disgusting beliefs.  I believe the reason that he, unlike most Americans, Democrats included, think it’s a swell idea for the 13-story mosque to be erected is because, like his religious mentor, he is convinced that 9/11 was a case of America’s chickens coming home to roost.

            Consider, if you will, that the head of NASA was told that one of his primary goals was to reach out to the Muslim nations and make them feel good about their achievements in math and science.  That meant that in addition to all his other responsibilities, the poor guy was going to have to bone up on ancient, very ancient, history.

            Some people would point to the surge in Afghanistan as proof that Obama isn’t a Manchurian or at least a Kenyan candidate, but that raises a provocative question: Why announce a deadline for pulling out our troops when such arbitrary dates inevitably encourage our enemies and undermine our allies?  Knowing that we intend to be gone within a year, what Afghan with the brains he was born with would dare assist us and antagonize the bloodthirsty Taliban?  And what’s the big rush, anyway?  We still have troops, for God’s sake, in Germany, Japan, Korea and Kosovo.

            In poker, when a player unconsciously tips his mitt it’s called a “tell”.  With Obama, his tell is when he says, “Let me be perfectly clear.”  Another sure way to recognize that he’s lying is to see if his mouth is moving.

            Getting back to the mosque, I kept hearing Islamic spokesmen talking about their fellow Muslims who had been killed on 9/11, suggesting that they, too, had suffered painful losses.  So I checked it out.  As near as I could figure, 62 Muslims died on that infamous day.  That, of course, isn’t counting the 19 who were responsible for slaughtering 2,800 non-Muslims.  Not to make light of the 62, but numbers are relative and I would guess that hardly a day goes by that Muslims of one sect aren’t blowing up at least 62 members of a different sect somewhere in the world.

            New York’s Governor David Paterson, being yet another mushy-headed liberal, naturally couldn’t resist leaping into the fray.  In an attempt to broker an agreement, he offered state land to the Muslims as a means to lure them away from lower Manhattan.  When I heard that, I found myself wondering why the usual suspects, including the ACLU, weren’t raising Cain over the separation of church and state.  I guess that only applies when it comes to Christianity and Judaism.

            Speaking of non-Islamic theologies reminds me that Barack Obama, when he was addressing wealthy San Franciscans at a fund-raiser in 2008, dismissed millions upon millions of American Christians as “those people clinging to their religion and their guns,” but has never once described Islamics as those people clinging to their religion and their suicide bombs.

by Burt Prelutsky

When it comes to liberals, there are simply not enough hours in a day for one person to record all of their mischief.  Speaking for myself, even if I had a staff the size of Mrs. Obama, I’d probably still fall behind.

For instance, liberals love to pretend that “separation of church and state” appears in the Constitution, although I’m sure that most of them are aware that the words only appeared in a letter that Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Danbury Baptist Association.  What’s more, they in no way contradicted the First Amendment, which merely prohibited the federal government from establishing a state religion, such as existed in England.  But on the other hand, when attacking the Second Amendment on the grounds that the Founders only wanted guns in the hands of “a well regulated militia,” those same liberals never bother mentioning that it was Jefferson who said “No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms” and “The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.”

            Next, I hope that once all the primaries are over, conservatives will suck it up and vote for the victorious Republican candidate in November.  I know it won’t always be easy, but it is essential that Nancy Pelosi loses the speakership, and the only way that happens is if the Democrats lose control of the House.

            I’m aware that on a few occasions over the past 18 months, a few Republicans have lost their minds and voted with the liberals.  In one case, it was the two ditzy women from Maine, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, voting for the stimulus bill.  More recently, Scott Brown, who is the closest thing to a Republican who could have gotten elected in Massachusetts, joined the two ladies to vote for Obama’s financial regulation bill.  It disgusted me as much as anyone that the three New Englanders jumped ship to aid and abet the enemy, but at least they have voted the right way more often than not, which is more than you could expect of the Democrats they defeated in their last elections.

            It’s not just that liberals all vote the wrong way, but when it comes to sheer, blatant ignorance, you can’t beat them when they get up a head of steam.  Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, for instance, claimed there were two Vietnams existing peacefully side-by-side, North and South Vietnam.  Of course even if there were two such nations, we’d know them as East and West Vietnam.  When the error was called to her attention, she naturally said she’d misspoken.

            I guess it’s thanks to omnipresent technology that when they put their stupidity on display these days, politicians no longer insist they’ve been misquoted.  Now, thanks to videos, open mikes and cell phone cameras, they have instead to insist that their lies, gaffes and absurdities, are all the result of misspeaking.

            So it was that when Rep. Hank Johnson claimed to be worried that the island of Guam might tip over if too many American servicemen were stationed there, he quickly explained that he’d misspoken, as did Wisconsin state supervisor Peggy West after she’d taken Arizona to task for its immigration bill when, as she insisted, it doesn’t even share a border with Mexico.

            There are subtler forms of stupidity on the Left.  We have Barack Obama declaring a six-month moratorium on off-shore drilling, thus doing everything in his power to destroy the Gulf’s economy, while at the same time refusing to drill in Alaska or the lower 48, and, for good measure, sending two billion dollars to Brazil to help them finance, of all things, off-shore drilling. 

            To take liberal stupidity to its logical extreme, we have Barack Obama, Christopher Dodd and Barney Frank, three of the schmoes most responsible for causing the financial meltdown, concocting a 2,500-page financial regulation bill.  When someone asked me if I thought the three stooges had actually read the bill, I said I was certain that they had at least carefully scanned it.  After all, how else could they be certain that their favorite lending institutions, the infamous Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, would be excluded from any and all regulations?

            Next on Obama’s agenda is likely to be cap and trade, which would do to American energy what British Petroleum did to Louisiana’s pelicans.  Considering that Obama recently appointed that eminent proponent of wealth distribution, Dr. Donald Berwick, to oversee Medicare and Medicaid, I assume he will appoint Fred Flintstone to be energy czar.

            Finally, no dirty laundry list of moronic liberals would be complete without Nevada’s number one sourpuss.  It was Harry Reid who insisted that although it was possible, though highly unlikely, that somewhere there might be illegal aliens working in the construction trade, it certainly wasn’t happening in his home state. 

In a related story, the Senate majority leader also announced that there were no hookers in Las Vegas.

by Burt Prelutsky

Those on the left have made every attempt to tar those on the right as racists.  They have done it so often and so ineptly that by now I doubt if even the rabid likes of Chris Matthews, Joy Behar and Rachel Maddow, take it seriously.

            As far back as last March, when the Tea Party members gathered in Washington to voice their objection to ObamaCare, we all saw the way the liberals choreographed the event in order to make the patriots appear hostile to blacks.  It was so simplistic, I assume that either Rahm Emanuel or David Axelrod came up with the plan.  It consisted of having only the pinheads from the Black Congressional Caucus enter the House by the front steps while Nancy Pelosi and her white colleagues all snuck in using the tunnel.

            The leftists counted on the Tea Partiers employing racial invective, and when that didn’t happen they simply lied and said it had.  They insisted that Emmanuel Cleaver had been spat upon and that the infamous n-word had been hurled at John Lewis 15 times.  Oddly enough, even when a $100,000 reward was posted for visual or audio confirmation, not even Keith Olbermann or Ellis Henican stepped forward to claim the prize.

            I’m not suggesting that there were no catcalls from the crowd, but does anyone, including Juan Williams, believe the catcalls wouldn’t have been even louder and more pointed if Nancy Pelosi or Henry Waxman had dared run the gauntlet of outraged, over-burdened, tax-paying patriots?  But of course even if Pelosi and Waxman had shown their faces, the lap dog media would have condemned the Tea Party members as a pack of misogynistic anti-Semites!

            Speaking of the left-wing media, I believe I’ve finally figured out the explanation for Marc Lamont Hill’s frequent appearances on Bill O’Reilly’s show.  He serves to make Alan Colmes seem almost rational.

            The media, together with the DNC, have taken advantage of Obama’s race to insist that all objections to his radical agenda are the result of racism.  What they fail to deal with is how it was that 52% of American voters, all of whom knew his racial makeup, cast their votes for him in 2008, while if the election were held today, the polls indicate that he would lose if he were running against Romney, Gingrich and Huckabee, and be in a dead-heat with Palin.

            Another fact that refutes the claims that anti-Obama sentiment is race-based is that his personal approval numbers are significantly higher than those regarding his policies.  Feeling as I do about his character, I’m at a loss to explain the dichotomy, but perhaps a lot of people can’t help but empathize with his pathetic efforts on the golf course.

            The truth is, the man who vowed to be our first post-racial president, has proven to be the most racial president since Wilson.  But whereas Wilson, who remains a hero to  liberals, was blatantly anti-black, Obama has shown his own true colors in the opposite direction.  In his first 18 months, he has played the race card in connection with the Cambridge police incident; in defending the openly racist Eric Holder; and in refusing to prosecute the New Black Panthers for voter intimidation.  What’s more, in his constant pandering to the left-wing NAACP, ACORN and the SEIU, he has gone overboard in expressing his appreciation for the 91% of the vote blacks handed him in his campaigns against both John McCain and Hillary Clinton.

            I happen to think that Obama’s decision to sue Arizona over its anti-illegal alien bill was a political miscalculation of enormous proportions.  For one thing, most Americans — and I’m going out on a limb and include Democrats and even Hispanics who are here legally — don’t like the idea of the president of 50 states using the authority of the federal government to attack one of them.  He’s not a schoolmarm and he has no business making Arizona sit in the corner as if it were a recalcitrant child.  What’s next, a  redesigned flag with just 49 stars?

            Judge Bolton ruled exactly as one would expect a Clinton appointee to rule.  Common sense would say that when the federal government refuses to enforce its constitutional obligation to defend our borders, thus forcing the individual states to do so on their own, it verges on lunacy to rule on the side of the feds.  But, obviously, when Obama says, “I know it’s my job, but I refuse to do it,” he can expect nothing but high-fives from the corrupt media, Hispanic racists and agenda-driven judges.

            The fact of the matter is that, by a wide majority, Americans don’t believe it is either moral or even possible to deport the millions of people who are already here illegally, but they want a very high wall — perhaps even a double wall, with an alligator-infested moat in between — erected at the border.  After that, reasonable people can decide on the status and future of those already here.  But any other policy (aka “comprehensive immigration reform”) would be premature, and would only play into the hands of Democrats trolling for votes, unions trolling for additional dues and Republicans trolling for the next best thing to slave labor.  So, to paraphrase President Reagan, I say, “Put up the wall, Mr. Obama.”

            A bonus is that the remainder of the stimulus money could finally be spent on what Obama promised us when he picked our pockets for the trillion dollars back in 2009; namely, shovel-ready jobs. 

by Burt Prelutsky

Sometimes, political corruption is so blatant, it almost seems like make-believe, like a farce concocted by Billy Wilder or Preston Sturges. 

Here in Southern California, we have a small, poor, mainly Hispanic community of 40,000 that has managed to put itself on the map in the unlikeliest of ways.  Although nearly 20% of its population lives under the poverty level, this community is a shining example of the can-do spirit in action.  How else can you explain that it had the highest-paid city officials in the nation?

Its chief administrative officer, Robert Rizzo, was pulling down $787,637 a year.  Police Chief Randy Adams was taking home $457,000, and Assistant City Manager Angela Spaccia was making do on $376,288.  The various council members were being paid nearly $100,000 each.  Did I mention that being a member of the Bell city council is a part-time job?

There was one exception, one guy riding the rails of the gravy train.  City Councilman Lorenzo Velez, who was unaware that all of his colleagues were making out like bandits until the L.A. Times broke the story, was only being paid $8,076-a-year.  At least now, I guess he knows why all the other fellows used to chuckle when he suggested getting together at Wendy’s or Taco Bell after council meetings.

But before we all chuckle too heartily at those poor Bell taxpayers who were laying out roughly $2 million-a-year to these lowlifes, let us not get too cocky.  Let me remind you that we’re all paying Barack Obama $420,000; Joe Biden, $171,500; Harry Reid, $193,400; Nancy Pelosi, $217,400, and that’s not counting perks that include an army of aides, personal jets and humongous pensions.  Do you really think they’re doing a better job than Rizzo, Adams and Spaccia?

On the other side of the country, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who believes he is all-wise because he is all-wealthy, thinks it would be a really terrific idea for the Muslims to erect a gigantic mosque near Ground Zero.  The Mayor seems to think it would be a wonderful symbol of something or other.  Most normal people, and I’m happy this one time to include Democrats, think 9/11 was symbolic enough of Islamic barbarism without having our noses rubbed in it. 

The fact that the Muslim who’s promoting the scheme is a guy with ties to Hamas doesn’t seem to faze Bloomberg.  But I guess when his fellow council members left council meetings in their Ferraris and Mr. Velez got on his bicycle, it did nothing to raise any red flags for him, either, but, then, Mr. Velez, unlike Bloomberg, isn’t a billionaire who’s thinking of running for president.

Speaking of elections, with November just around the corner, I’m already getting annoyed with some of my email.  A number of conservatives are very upset that Ronald Reagan, for reasons they can’t quite grasp, isn’t going to be on their ballot. 

Even more irritating are those nincompoops who insist they’re independents and enjoy announcing that they vote for the man, not the party.

Believe me, I understand that not every Republican is a saint and that not every Democrat is evil incarnate.  But constantly repeating the mantra that both parties are alike, much like Bloomberg’s belief that the mosque will usher in an era of ecumenical brotherhood, is a prime example of mind-boggling naiveté.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock since January, 2009, you should have noticed that it has been Obama, Pelosi, Reid and their flock of liberal sheep, that have shoved bigger government; higher taxes; endless perks for unions; ObamaCare; an insane energy agenda; an equally loony illegal alien policy; and deficits that will bankrupt generations of Americans not yet born; down our throats, while managing to provide leftists Kagan and Sotomayor with lifetime sinecures; and it’s been Republicans who have done their best to fight back on our behalf.

As much as anyone, I’m aware that the Republicans, including John McCain, spent 2000-2006 trying to cuddle up to Ted Kennedy.  But I have to believe they learned their lessons in the past two elections.  If it turns out they didn’t, there’s time enough in 2012 to take them out behind the woodshed and paddle their butts.

Burt Prelutsky is scheduled as a guest.

by Burt Prelutsky

I have long been intrigued with the final words uttered by those on their actual or figurative deathbeds.  The trouble, of course, is that you never know if the words were spontaneous or rehearsed, whether they were really spoken aloud or were conjured up after the fact by someone who hoped to gain for himself a piece of anonymous immortality by acting as a  giving-up-the-ghost writer.

            While I have no way of vouching for their authenticity, I regard the following farewells as among the most memorable.

            Henry Ward Beecher said, “Now comes the mystery,” although I would have thought “Now comes the solution to the mystery” the more appropriate assumption on the part of the notable preacher.

            Heinrich Heine, a rather presumptuous fellow even for a German poet, insisted, “God will pardon me.  It is his trade.”

            Humphrey Bogart mused, “I should have never switched from Scotch to martinis,” although a wiser decision regarding his vices would have been to kick the nicotine habit before it kicked him.

            Luther Burbank, the noted horticulturist, might have been expected to come up with something a little more flowery than “I don’t feel good” if he had only known how just far from good he really felt.

            Dylan Thomas, who seems to have been a rather competitive sort of fellow for a sot, boasted, “I have just had 18 whiskeys in a row.  I do believe that is a record.”

            Robert E. Lee, a military genius who never wasted ammunition or words, took his leave with the brisk “Strike the tent.”

            Another Civil War general, John Sedgwick, while commanding Union forces at the Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse, put southern snipers in their place by telling his cowering troops, “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance” a moment before they put him in his final resting place.  It was Gen. Sedgwick’s misfortune that the Rebs didn’t happen to be hunting elephants that day.

            Oscar Wilde confessed that he and his wallpaper were fighting a duel to the death and “One or the other of us has to go.”  Alas, the wallpaper won and got to hang around a while longer.

            When a French priest urged Voltaire, a committed atheist to renounce Satan, the old philosopher replied, “This is no time to make new enemies.”

            A very witty line, but in strictly practical terms, it’s hard to beat convicted murderer James W. Bridges, who, when asked if he had a final request before facing a firing squad, replied, “Why, yes, a bulletproof vest.”

            Still, when it comes to send-offs, you’d have a go a long way to top the one that Charlotte McCourt’s family came up with recently.  After the passing of the longtime Nevada resident, her children published an obituary that read: “We believe that mom would say she was mortified to have taken a large role in the election of Harry Reid to the U.S. Congress.  Let the record show that Charlotte was displeased with his work.  Please, in lieu of flowers, vote for another more worthy candidate.”

            In my own case, I plan to get to work immediately on some amusing, yet profound and touching, final words.  My greatest fear is that before having the opportunity to deliver them, I will slip in the shower and in that nano-second prior to fatally conking my head on the porcelain, I will take leave of the world with an inexcusably trite “Whoops!”

by Burt Prelutsky

Now I know how liberals felt 40 years ago when they failed to make the cut on Richard Nixon’s notorious enemies list.  Even after reading Townhall magazine’s list of the 100 Americans the Left Hates the Most, and checking it twice, I didn’t find my name mentioned.  The ground rules were that you had to be living and you had to be American, which were the reasons, the editors took pains to point out, that Ronald Reagan, William F. Buckley, Mark Steyn and the Pope, weren’t included, but would hardly explain my own absence.

            I can only assume that Michael Barone nosed me out for the final slot.  In fact, at the top of my wish list is that after the November elections, there will be about 65 million of us tied for 101^st place.

            Even if I was beaten out by a bunch of Republican politicians and media pundits, it doesn’t prevent me from being at or near the top of the list when it comes to those who most despise liberals.  For instance, how can the folks in New York City continue re-electing a yutz like Michael Bloomberg?  It was he, let us never forget, who confidently predicted that the Times Square bomber would turn out to be “a home-grown, maybe a mentally-deranged person or somebody with a political agenda that doesn’t like the health bill or something.”  His lack of speaking skills aside, did anyone notice that he never said “Me bad” or words to that effect when Islamic terrorist Faisal Shahzad, and not some elderly conservative pharmacist from Nebraska, was escorted off the Dubai-bound jetliner?  For the record, I don’t believe the authorities ever asked Mr. Shahzad how he felt about ObamaCare.

            Very often, I hear from readers complaining about the crooks, crumbs and left-wing chumps, who theoretically represent them in Washington.  I can empathize, but nobody has better reason to complain than yours truly.  Not only are my senators Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer, otherwise known as Dumb and Dumber, but my congressman is Brad Sherman.  In case his name isn’t quite as familiar as that of his friend and colleague, Henry Waxman, I’ll remind you that Sherman is the cluck who joined Waxman and 73 of their congressional cronies in voting to continue federal funding of ACORN even after the infamous tapes exposed the group as a willing, even eager, co-conspirator in criminal activities involving under-age Latina prostitutes.

            More recently, Rep. Sherman held a town hall meeting and raised a firestorm when he initially denied that the Justice Department had decided that it would refuse to prosecute black-on-white civil rights cases.  Once his more vocal constituents let him know about the New Black Panther case, he insisted that he’d never heard of it.  Which meant, among other things, that he was unaware that Department of Justice official J. Christian Adams had resigned over the issue so that he would be free to give sworn testimony before the Civil Rights Commission.

            When he was then asked how it was possible that he was totally unaware of the facts, which had been well-covered by Fox News, the Drudge Report and on any number of blogs and talk radio shows, Sherman blithely announced that he hadn’t come across the news in any of his regular sources, which included the L.A. Times, the Economist, Newsweek, the L.A. Daily News, the Congressional Quarterly and the National Journal.  Frankly, I was surprised not to see the New York Times or the Washington Post mentioned, and I suspect he doesn’t actually read the Economist, either, but decided the rest of his reading list wasn’t very impressive and might lead Katie Couric to make fun of him.

            Unlike Ms. Couric, I would never stoop to that sort of ridicule.  Instead, I’ll simply point out that if you call this schmuck a pinhead, it’s not an insult, it’s the literal truth.  A while back, my wife and I actually attended one of his town hall meetings and I was shocked to discover that not only is he even dumber and smarmier in person than he is on TV, but he has the tiniest head I have ever seen on a grown-up.  It’s as if he had been captured by pygmies who decided to shrink his head while it was still attached to his neck, but were then interrupted halfway through the process.  Unfortunately, that was before they got to the really good part where they sew up their victim’s mouth.

            Still, as we all know, it’s not just liberal politicians and media propagandists who give us all so much reason to despise them.  Not too long ago, we had Michelle Obama, pausing in her mission to take candy from America’s babies, visit the oil-smeared Gulf and tell Americans how pristine the beaches are, and how we should all go there on our summer vacations.  That came right around the time we all learned that the Obamas were taking theirs in Maine, which is about as far from Florida and Louisiana as you can get without vacationing in Nova Scotia.

            If I remember correctly, she also insisted that we should all become better Americans by learning to speak Spanish, not that she or Barack had any such plans.  This woman hands out so much bull hockey, I’m even beginning to wonder if she feeds Malia and Natasha Cocoa Pops for breakfast.

            Just before taking off for Maine, our First Lady found the time to make an appearance at the NAACP convention and lead the left-wing rabble-rousers in a chorus of blame whitey.  Somehow, when the president is black, his wife is black, his attorney general is black and his friend, Oprah Winfrey, is not only black, but probably the richest woman in the country, it strikes me as fatuous, if not downright loony, to keep insisting that America is a nation of bigots.

            For sheer gall, it’s hard to beat the NAACP, a group dedicated to a racist agenda, having the gall to condemn the Tea Party movement as racist.  It strikes me as an obvious attempt on the part of the black pot to besmirch the innocent kettle.

by Burt Prelutsky

Down through the years, people have constantly reminded me that nature abhors a vacuum.  But I always felt that was overstating the case.  While nature may not be too crazy about vacuums, I doubt if it really abhors them.  On the other hand, it’s evident that politicians hold logic, not to mention honesty, in utter contempt.

            Consider, if you will, that after meeting with the president, Sen. John Kyl said that Barack Obama told him he wasn’t going to do anything to close the Mexican border because he planned to use the closure as leverage, thus forcing the GOP to go along with “comprehensive immigration reform,” which we all know is left-wing code for amnesty.

The president denied saying any such thing, painting the Arizona senator as a bald-faced liar.

            Now, I wasn’t in the room with the two of them, but logic tells me that senators don’t make a habit of lying about the president, whereas Obama has spent the past year and a half telling one whopper after another.  Also, if he didn’t say what Kyl says he said, what other reason would Obama have for not closing the border, and why would he sue the state of Arizona for simply attempting to do what the federal government hasn’t done?  And why wouldn’t Obama and Holder lower the boom on so-called sanctuary cities, those sanctimonious municipalities that pride themselves on flouting federal law?

            Frankly, the only thing that surprises me about the entire episode is that Obama actually told Kyl the truth.  I can only assume the moon was blue or hell had just frozen over.

            Everyone knows that Obama is happy to see millions of Mexicans sneak into America because eventually most of them, being poor, illiterate and obviously quite willing to break the law, will vote for Democrats. 

            When you attempt to apply logic to liberals, you wind up with a brain freeze, much like when you bite into a Popsicle.  For instance, ask yourself why liberals will promote marijuana, but go to war over soft drinks.  Why do they hate Jan Brewer, Michele Bachmann and Glenn Beck, but idolize Fidel Castro, Mao tse-tung and Che Guevara?

            Why do they hold Hugo Chavez in high esteem, but want to put Dick Cheney in the clink and Sarah Palin in the corner wearing a dunce cap?

            Why did they carry on so when Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd died when normal people knew that one of them was a drunk who should have wound up in jail, not the Senate, and the other one joined the Ku Klux Klan so he could win elections and then quit for that very same reason?

            Why are liberals more hostile to Tea Party members than they are to Islamic terrorists, and more frightened of secondhand smoke than they are of Iran nuking Tel Aviv?

            Why were they so proud of themselves for giving fugitive from justice Roman Polanski an Oscar for a piece of cinematic claptrap like “The Pianist” and so triumphant when Switzerland, no doubt terrified that he’d transfer his fortune to the Bahamas, refused to extradite him for having drugged and raped a child?

            But it’s not only liberals who treat logic as if it were a contagious disease.  For instance, how is it that Newt Gingrich could go on TV and claim with a straight face that he was surprised to find that, as president, Obama has shown himself to be a radical leftist?

            I realize that Gingrich didn’t run in 2008, but was he living in a cave during the entire campaign?  It seemed pretty clear to me, along with about 58 million other American voters, that when Obama swore he’d have us out of Iraq and shut down Gitmo inside a year; when he declared war on the coal industry and announced that under his watch, energy prices would soar; when he lamented that the problem with the U.S. Constitution and the Civil Rights movement was that they didn’t deal with the redistribution of wealth; when he gave speeches demeaning America and religion; didn’t voice an objection when Michelle confessed that she’d never been proud of this country until her husband ran for president; and when he wrote in his book that the college students and professors he was attracted to were socialists, communists and other assorted airheads, Obama certainly made every effort to make things crystal clear.  Had Newt Gingrich simply been lulled to sleep by the mantra of Hope and Change?

            All I know for certain is that if I were going to pass myself off as a political pundit, I wouldn’t go around admitting that I was taken aback to discover that when Mr. Obama, friend of racists, radicals and terrorists, went off toWashington, it wasn’t in order to establish a boy’s camp on the banks of Willet Creek.

by Burt Prelutsky

Apparently, one of Obama’s orders to NASA was to reach out to Muslim nations, celebrating them for their contributions to science, math and engineering.  So, in short order, we’ve gone from reaching for the moon to reaching for Tehran.

            I say if we’re going that far back in history, we should also take a moment to thank whomever was responsible for coming up with shoes, because in living memory, the only contribution to science made by the Muslim world was turning human beings into delivery systems for bombs.

            But it’s not just Obama who seems to be taking his directions from Mecca.  The town council of Darlaston, England, painted over the windows at its public swimming pool at the insistence of the local Muslims.

            One elderly Englishwoman complained that after her recent cataract operation, she had looked forward to seeing the trees outside the facility while swimming her daily laps.  Instead, thanks to the paint job, she felt as if her cataracts had returned.

            Several questions occur to me, aside from the most obvious one: Why are the English kowtowing to Sharia law?

            To begin with, why are Muslim women swimming in public?  Even if those outside the pool can no longer ogle them, what about all those randy English blokes who are splashing around inside?  Will they be forced to don blindfolds?  How about reaching a compromise by removing the paint and making the Muslim women swim in burqas?

            Even though Obama seems to regard Muslims as God’s chosen people, and by “God” he obviously means himself, I’m here to remind everyone that the most important off-year election in our history is now less than four months away.  Even if the Republican on your ballot isn’t your conservative ideal, please keep in mind that he or she is part of the antidote to ObamaCare, Cap and Trade, increased taxes and additional stimulus bills.

            If nothing else impels you to get out and vote on November 2^nd, remind yourself that if the GOP regains control of the House, Nancy Pelosi will not only have to surrender the Speaker’s gavel, but that jumbo jet she’s grown to love.  Surely that should be enough to get you off the couch, come Election Day.

            Additionally, if the GOP takes back the House, the Republicans will control the nation’s purse strings, which will help transform the turkey in the Oval Office into a lame duck.

            It’s hard to believe, but after the 2008 elections, I worried that the Whigs would make a comeback long before the Republicans.  But, then, I never imagined that the Democrats in Congress would enter into political suicide pacts on behalf of Obama’s loony, leftist agenda.

            In a way, Obama reminds me of an old-time movie director named Mitchell Leisen.  Although Leisen was only moderately successful, he inadvertently played a major role in the history of motion pictures.  In the 1930s, Preston Sturges was a screenwriter at Paramount Studios.  He became so dissatisfied with the way Leisen directed his scripts, he begged the higher-ups for the chance to direct them himself.  They finally capitulated, and Sturges went on to write and direct such comedy classics as “Hail the Conquering Hero,” “The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek” and “The Lady Eve.”

            As if that weren’t reason enough to earn a nation’s gratitude, Leisen also managed to aggravate screenwriter Billy Wilder, who then used Sturges’ success as leverage with the studio bosses.  That, in turn, led to “The Major and the Minor,” “Lost Weekend,” “Double Indemnity,” “Sunset Blvd.,” “The Apartment” and “Some Like It Hot.”

            So, just as Leisen led to Sturges and Wilder, and Jimmy Carter led to Ronald Reagan, one can only hope and pray that, in 2012, Obama leads to someone who is man or woman enough to clean up his unholy mess.

            Finally, even in the gloomiest of times, I like to find something that will lift my spirits and make my soul sing.  So it is that between now and November 2^nd, no matter how bleak things may look, I know that I’ll get through it by reminding myself that a Portland masseuse got to call Nobel Peace Prize recipient Al Gore “a crazed sex poodle.”

by Burt Prelutsky

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read, “Everyone who is in favor of abortion has already been born.”  I’m not sure that’s the best argument I’ve ever heard made by those opposed to the practice, but it did get me to thinking about other facts of modern life.

            For instance, the Supreme Court will soon determine whether it is an infringement of free speech if the members of the Westboro Baptist Church are prevented from demonstrating at the funerals of our fallen warriors.  What I find astonishing is that it is even a question that requires a Supreme Court ruling to stop these obscene lunatics from disrupting such solemn ceremonies.  What the heck ever happened to common sense and common decency?

            The bumper sticker also led me to consider the hypocrisy of those who favor affirmative action.  I’m not referring to the beneficiaries who obviously have a vested interest in taking advantage of race-based entitlements in order to leap-frog over better, more deserving, students.  No, the folks I have in mind are white students, white professors, white politicians, white reporters, editors and political pundits.  No matter how loudly they trumpet their liberal rhetoric, I have never — not once — noticed any of them stepping aside so that a black or Hispanic student, professor, politician, reporter, editor or political pundit, can take his place.

            Instead, their role is to stand on the sidelines with a megaphone and a social engineering agenda, and tell others to sacrifice themselves in order to bring about this left-wing notion of Nirvana.  So long as nothing but good intentions is demanded of them, they promote the Marxist ideal: “From everyone according to his abilities to everyone according to his needs.”  But that’s only so long as it’s everyone else.

            God knows I can be as self-righteous as the next guy, assuming that the next guy isn’t a liberal, but there are few things that gall me quite as much as those nincompoops who show up any time a serial killer is about to be executed in order to hold a candlelight vigil outside a prison.

            They’re such a smug, sanctimonious bunch of ninnies, I’m always relieved when I fail to see my friends or relatives among them.  Invariably, I find myself thinking these loons should get a hobby, get a dog or get a life.  They so obviously believe they control the moral high ground, I just want to smack ‘em.

            Short of that, I’d at least like to suggest another bumper sticker:  “Nobody who has ever demonstrated against capital punishment has ever been a murder victim.  (But there’s still time.)”

by Burt Prelutsky

The worst thing about the oil leak, assuming you don’t live and work in the Gulf, was having to keep viewing the same stuff on TV day in and day out for months on end.  It got so bad, I began seeing the undersea footage, the oily pelican and Thad Allen, in my dreams.

Speaking of Mr. Allen, if he’s retired from the Coast Guard, why does he get to wear his uniform on camera?  I always thought veterans only got to take their uniforms out of mothballs for parades.  Apparently, Mr. Allen wears his to the supermarket.

With the 24/7 media attention that’s been devoted to the ecological disaster, it is easy to regard the leak as the worst thing that’s ever happened to the environment.  But even now it only ranks as about the 35^th worst oil spill in the past hundred years.  Something else that we should not lose sight of is that the Gulf is a magnet for hurricanes, just as California is one for earthquakes and New York City is one for Islamic terrorists.  That means that bad stuff is always going to be happening and if people are going to live in such places, they have to accept the risks.  British Petroleum will not always be around to pay for the cleanup.

            The leak has led to Obama’s declaring a 6-month moratorium on deep sea drilling, which should pretty much finish off the Gulf’s economy for the foreseeable future, unless Judge Feldman’s ruling stands.  On the other hand, our president did send $2 billion to Brazil to help finance deep-sea oil exploration by Petrobar, a company in which George Soros had recently invested.  And, yes, Brazil is the very same country that recently joined with Turkey in proclaiming its alignment with Iran’s Mahmud Ahmadinejad.

            A lot has been said and written about Obama’s handling of the crisis.  None of it has been good.  Even some of his erstwhile acolytes have taken him to task.  I can understand their disillusionment.  The man did announce, after all, that with his election, the earth would be healed and the oceans would recede, and nary a word about oil pollution.  The magnitude of the leak has certainly confirmed that BP knew what it was doing when it sank a well there.  Unfortunately, the leak also emphasizes how stubborn and short-sighted Congress has been in its refusal to drill in Alaska or anywhere else that is currently inhabited by caribou, jackrabbits, elk, snakes or snails.

            The fact is, Obama has brought it all on himself.  When he was courting us, he spoke of transparency and of uniting the right and the left; he rhapsodized about a post-racial America and an America that would be respected around the world.  Well, I guess we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves if we bought the lies.  Even someone as bright and successful as Sandra Bullock fell for Jesse James’ line of bull hockey.

            I almost feel sorry for the president.  I mean, it must seem as if God, Himself, is pulling the rug out from under him.  After all, it was only five years ago that all the left-wing creeps, including Obama, were mugging George Bush over his handling of a natural disaster and, suddenly, we have Obama tripping over his own feet in the same general area.

            Understand, I don’t blame him for ignoring the disaster in the early days.  After all, the media had given him a pass for ignoring the recent flooding of Nashville.  They had ignored it, too.  But once the oil leak became bigger news than North Korea’s sinking of a South Korean ship, bigger news than the unholy Muslim flotilla and even bigger news than the arrest of Joran van der Sloot, I would have assumed that Obama would have done all in his power to give the illusion of competence and concern.  Instead, he golfed and partied while Governor Jindal’s request for material and equipment were ignored.  We had the Coast Guard ordering skimmer ships shut down because they didn’t have a prescribed number of life jackets on board.  We had offers of assistance from Norway, Holland and 11 other nations, being refused because of something called the Jones Act, for no other reason than that Obama didn’t want to upset the maritime unions and their insistence that only ships flying the U.S. flag — and employing U.S. union crews! — be allowed to function in U.S. waters.

            The way I see it, British Petroleum was the perfect boogeyman for liberals.  After all, their executives owned yachts and either spoke with snooty English accents or referred to “small people.”  Red meat, indeed, for congressional committees chaired by the self-righteous likes of Henry (“I voted to continue funding ACORN because they do a lot of good work”) Waxman.

            The bonus is that BP has very deep pockets, so that Obama can grandstand and demand that the company pay everyone on the Gulf more money than they would have ever made renting motel rooms and fishing.

            After insisting that there will be a six-month moratorium on off-shore drilling, which would do far more long term damage than the oil leak, Obama then tried to turn the screws on BP, by insisting they pay all of the laid-off oil crews, not just those working for British Petroleum, for income he, himself, was causing them to lose.  Even BP finally had enough, and said they would pay their own workers, but not Exxon’s or Shell’s.

            If Obama had gotten away with it, I’m sure he planned to solve America’s unemployment ills by forcing BP to put the other 20 million out-of-work Americans on the company payroll.

            I submit that there is one consolation for Barack Obama.  If much more crud is released into the Gulf of Mexico, this two-bit messiah might actually be able to walk on  water.

by Burt Prelutsky

Until recently, I had been totally unaware of Mohamed (Mo) Ibrahim’s existence, and had never heard that, through his foundation, he funds the world’s single largest cash award.

            The Prize for Achievement in African Leadership bestows $500,000-a-year for the first 10 years and $200,000-a-year for life thereafter to the African leader or former leader who delivers security, health, education and economic development to his constituents, and who democratically transfers power to his successor.

            Mo Ibrahim, who is a Sudanese-born English mobile communications entrepreneur, is a billionaire, and can probably come up with the annual prize money by looking under the cushions on his couch.  However, in the years since he established the Prize in 2006, it has only been handed out twice.  Once it went to Joaquim Chissano of Mozambique, and once it went to Festus Mogae of Botswana.  But in spite of the fact that there are 34 nations in sub-Sahara Africa, not to mention all those Arab and Muslim countries above the great desert, two years have gone by without a new honoree.

            That would indicate a couple of things to me.  First off, for all the lip service, not to mention foreign aid, paid out by the western nations to Africa, it’s all been for naught.  The dark continent is pretty much one enormous cesspool of murder, tribalism and corruption.

            What’s more, Africa’s thugs control 53 votes in the United Nations, which dwarfs the number of votes the western democracies possess.  So much for the “international community,” which left-wing lunatics are always claiming is, rightfully, the world’s moral arbiter.

            Another thing I’m able to glean from the fact that not a single African leader has shown himself to be worthy of the Prize in the past two years is that even with all those millions of dollars being dangled before them, it’s chump change compared to the amount they can steal running the show in Yemen, the Sudan, Kenya, and all the other ganglands.

            Something else that occurred to me is that if there was a comparable prize for American leaders, it, too, would go begging.

by Burt Prelutsky

I have heard there are native tribes who refuse to be photographed because they fear the camera will snatch away their souls.  I used to wonder where they got that quirky idea, but that was a long time ago.

Since then, I have heard Carrie Fisher say, “Obama is brilliant.  The thing is, he’s half-white, but that’s not enough for the Tea Bag crowd.  For them, it’s all white or (expletive deleted)-off!”

 Sean Penn hopes his right-wing critics “die screaming of rectal cancer.”

Julia Roberts pointed out that “Republican” in the dictionary comes just after “reptile” and just before “repugnant.”

            Susan Sarandon observed that “Sarah Palin’s views are so limiting, they set the women’s movement back years.  When you get a woman in government, you want the right woman.  You don’t want just any vagina.”

            Michael Moore said: “I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a ‘deserter.’  What I meant to say is that he is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate.  And he poops his pants.”

            Janeane Garofalo declared that the world was better off when the Soviet Union was a superpower, and, never satisfied to leave bad enough alone, went on to say, “The reason a person is a conservative Republican is because something is wrong with them.  That’s science — that’s neuroscience!”  About the folks in the Tea Party, she insisted, “It is all about having a black man in the White House.  This is racism straight up and they’re nothing but a bunch of tea-bagging rednecks.”

            Joy Behar not only defended creepy Joe McGinniss’s decision to purchase a house next door to the Palins, but seconded his comments comparing Palin’s criticism to the behavior of Nazi storm troopers.  It reminded me of California gubernatorial candidate Jerry Brown’s comparing his opponent, Meg Whitman, to Hitler’s minister of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels.  Is it just my imagination or do some people never give a second thought to Nazis or Islamic terrorists except when they’re looking to compare Republicans to something bad?

            Danny Glover, who despises America and adores communism, blames global warming for the earthquake in Haiti.  Together with Steven Spielberg, Oliver Stone and Sean Penn, Glover is a charter member of the Fidel Castro/Hugo Chavez Fan Club.  Odd, isn’t it, how these people subscribe to all things socialistic except when it comes to their paychecks?

            According to George Clooney, “It started with the witch hunts in Salem.  The conservatives’ point of view was ‘Burn them at the stake,’ and the liberals’ point of view was ‘There are no witches.’  And that’s how it continued with the civil rights movement and women’s suffrage.  The liberals were always right in the end.”

            Harry Belafonte slandered Condi Rice and Colin Powell, calling them house slaves.  He told Hugo Chavez that he and millions of his fellow Americans supported his Chilean revolution.  Then, for good measure, Belafonte called George W. Bush a terrorist, saying he was far worse than the jihadists responsible for 9/11, and labeled the Dept. of Homeland Security America’s Gestapo.

            Rosie O’Donnell stuck up for Helen Thomas after the 89-year-old gargoyle told the Israelis to “get the hell out of Palestine” and go back to Poland and Germany.

            It took me a good long time to realize that the tribesmen were correct in thinking the camera had a magical way of stealing people’s souls, but, so far as I know, they remain unaware that it can also make off with their brains. 

by Burt Prelutsky

A lot of people were left shaking their heads after Alvin Greene, who hadn’t done any campaigning or spent a single dollar on advertising, won the Democratic primary in South Carolina. It made perfect sense to me that a 32-year-old guy that nobody had ever heard of, who was facing a felony charge and who, for good measure, had lived with his father ever since the U.S. Army had invited him to leave the service, would win his party’s congressional primary. After all, he had a (D) after his name and, what’s more, his name came first on the ballot. What better reasons would an ignorant and lazy electorate need to have before casting their votes?

Apparently Nancy Pelosi was grief-stricken when David Obey of Wisconsin, a senior member of Congress and the chairman of the House Appropriations Committee, decided not to run for re-election this year. In announcing he was bowing out after more than 40 years in office, he said that his proudest achievement was presiding over the House during the March vote for ObamaCare. Can you imagine such a thing? That is one of the saddest things I ever heard. Imagine spending four decades in power and the thing you’re proudest of is helping to pass a bill that is reviled by most Americans, a bill that was so bad that even with huge Democratic majorities on Capitol Hill, Pelosi and Reid had to resort to bribes and intimidation to get it passed. But, then, I expect that on his deathbed, Benedict Arnold probably said that betraying America was his own proudest moment.

Recently, I found myself wondering why it is that liberals and conservatives have such opposing points of view when it comes to both foreign and domestic policy. I decided it had a great deal to do with one’s perception of human nature. For instance, practicing Christians, who, in the main, tend to be conservatives, believe there has been only one perfect being. Liberals, on the other hand, are convinced that human beings would be perfect if only capitalism was destroyed and they could run things as they wish.

Liberals actually believe that under socialism, everyone would share equally because everyone would work equally. I would think that anyone over the age of six would recognize the fallacy of that foolish notion. There are and there will always be a large number of people who are along for the ride. Anyone who thinks otherwise is not necessarily a villain, but he is hopelessly naïve. I also suspect that most of them are subscribing to notions they don’t believe for a minute.

For instance, consider how many liberals who insist that dependence on fossil fuels is a crime against the earth ride around in limos, SUVs and private jets. Consider that people like Al Gore, Arianna Huffington and Oprah Winfrey, reside in homes that are five or ten times larger than one would deem necessary, considering their alleged convictions and the size of their families.

Speaking of families, don’t liberals have them? Haven’t they taken note of the fact that members of a single family are often at odds? I, myself, know people who haven’t spoken to their own siblings in decades. So, how is it exactly that millions and millions of perfect strangers are expected to work, live and share, in perfect harmony?

Heck, liberals don’t even want to deal with conservatives, let alone share the fruits of their labor. Which is why in Washington, left-wingers never compromise with the opposition, choosing to denigrate them as nay-sayers if they balk at rubber-stamping Obama’s radical agenda; and why in Hollywood, conservatives are forced to conceal their political beliefs, lest they be blacklisted by the very folks who are still whining about a blacklist that ended over half a century ago.

In the 1960s, a Democratic president said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

Today, we have a Democratic president who appears to have dedicated his administration to seeing what he can do to our country.

I figure if 62 million people could vote for that guy, it’s really no wonder that Alvin Greene won his election.

by Burt Prelutsky

It’s no wonder that Rahm Emanuel, who could play the villain in a James Bond movie, looks a little bit like the Wicked Witch of the West, and who famously said that a crisis is a terrible thing to waste, has found a home in Obama’s White House.  When the president suggested that the oil leak could lead to his raising taxes at the gas pump, I could easily imagine Mr. Emanuel standing off-camera chuckling like a crone and rubbing his hands together.

            One thing you have to say for Obama is that he thinks big.  Not satisfied with merely destroying our economy and jeopardizing the well being of older Americans, he did the same to England and its seniors when he began threatening British Petroleum with criminal charges.  The value of BP stock, which had already been teetering because of the tragic events in the Gulf, plummeted, and with it, the dividend checks of English pensioners.  I could almost hear Emanuel’s chortling, “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!”

            If he could, I am convinced that Barack Obama would tax the air we breathe.  In fact, with Cap & Trade, I think he can.  After all, in cahoots with Pelosi and Reid, he has already found any number of ways to tax our patience.

            Although I still entertain the hope that Harry Reid will be sent off into the Nevada sunset in November, I know that Nancy Pelosi will be re-elected.  But however I feel about her, it really is a wonder that San Francisco, the only freak show in America with its own city charter, has a congressional representative who so closely resembles a normal human being.  Still, every time I look at her awe-struck face and hear that spooky little girl voice, I recall a storyline from the “Li’l Abner” comic strip.  The long-time senator from Dogpatch, Jack S. Phogbound, was facing certain defeat in an upcoming election until he gave one final campaign speech.  He told the voters that if he lost, he would be moving back home, whereas if they re-elected him, they wouldn’t see hide or hair of him for another six years.  He won in a landslide.

            I’d like to think that helps explain why people like Charles Rangel, Henry Waxman and Robert Byrd, haven’t had to do an honest day’s work in their entire lives.

            The two main reasons I want to see the GOP take back the House in November is that I want the brakes applied to Obama’s radical transformation of America, and I want to see Pelosi, as the ex-Speaker of the House, have to hand over the keys to that colossal jet that she’s been using as her personal cross-country shuttle, all the while prattling on about America’s dependence on fossil fuels.

            What she refuses to acknowledge is that fossil fuels literally fuel our industrialized nation, whereas the jumbo jet merely fuels Pelosi’s jumbo-sized ego.

by Burt Prelutsky

One of the great mysteries of life is how Democrats have managed to tar Republicans as America’s racists.  I mean, unless I’m entirely mistaken about their party affiliation, FDR’s favorite Supreme Court liberal, Hugo Black, and that grand old man of the U.S. Senate, Democrat Robert Byrd, were proud members of the Ku Klux Klan.

            George Wallace, Orval Faubus, Strom Thurmond and even Theophilus “Bull” Connor, all came to political prominence with a (D) after their name.  What’s more, a higher percentage of Republicans than Democrats voted for the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  The bill, by the way, had spent months bottled up in the Rules Committee, thanks to its chairman, Rep. Howard W. Smith (D).  The fact of the matter is that the Democrats spent 83 days filibustering against its passage until Republican Senator Everett Dirksen used his power and prestige to get it enacted.

            On the other hand, it is worth noting that the first three black men elected to the United States Senate, Hiram Revels; Blanche Bruce, who was the son of a slave; and Edward Brooke, were all Republicans.

            Therefore, one has to assume that the reason that over 90% of black Americans troop out to vote for any left-wing bozo, be he black or white, is that down deep they agree with patronizing liberals who regard them all as ignorant and shiftless.  Otherwise, why would they parrot left-wing talking points about conservatives?  Why would they continue to invite liberal politicians into their churches to use their pulpits for campaign purposes?  And why wouldn’t they question the morality of liberals who not only conveniently ignore “separation of church and state” on such occasions, but on all other occasions, are leading the attack on Christian leaders, symbols and traditions?

            They would also have to ask themselves why it is that they get to blame their crime stats and mind-boggling rate of high school drop-outs and illegitimate births, on white racism, whereas Asians somehow out-do whites on average when it comes to education and earning power.  If America is such a racist nation, wouldn’t it figure that whites would subjugate Asians?  After all, not only are they easily recognizable, but over the past 70 years, we have waged war against Japan, North Korea and North Vietnam.

            So, just exactly how is it that all those people who come here from Cambodia, South Korea, Vietnam, Singapore, Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Laos and the Philippines, seem to flourish, while people who were born here, speak the language and have been the recipients of billions of dollars worth of government programs, including Operation Head Start, small business loans and affirmative action, continue to whine about racism and continue to support white liberals and the various crooks, creeps and communists, collectively known as the Congressional Black Caucus?

            If white Americans are racists, we’re certainly the most selective ones the world has ever known, inasmuch as our bigotry seems to be reserved solely for illegal aliens and black ingrates.

by Burt Prelutsky

I love America, but honesty compels me to admit I used to love it even more.

I loved it more when people could admit they were patriots without being called xenophobes.  I loved it more when a person could say that nobody should be allowed to sneak into the country without being labeled a racist.  I loved it more when one could point out that if people aren’t allowed to profit from a crime, why are the parents of so-called anchor babies the exception? 

            I loved America more when a person could say that he thought a culture that had given the world Shakespeare, Rembrandt, DaVinci, Dickens, Bach, Beethoven, the telephone, the electric light, the automobile, the jet plane, rockets to the moon, cell phones, radar and a cure for polio, was superior to one that gave the world Sharia law, suicide bombers and clitorectomies, without being called a jingoist.

            I loved America more when people didn’t worry so much about infringing on the rights of convicted pedophiles, and someone besides me wondered why the average prison sentence doled out to a child molester was a scant three years.

            I loved America more when people listened to music filled with melody, harmony and decipherable lyrics, and went to movies about recognizable human beings coping with recognizable human problems.

            I loved America more when if the phone rang, it was very likely someone you wanted to speak to, and not some shill calling on behalf of some hack politician trolling for money.

            I loved America more before baseball players used steroids, and before millions of fans cheered them on as they cheated their way into the record books, erasing the achievements of people like Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron and Roger Maris.

            I loved America more before parents thought winning was so important they’d hold their kids back from entering school so they could be bigger and faster than their classmates and wind up being high school football stars.

            I loved America more before other parents considered honest competition so destructive, they decided scores shouldn’t be kept at their kids’ sporting events, and that pass/fail should replace grades in the classroom.

            I loved America more when youngsters had to earn respect, and high self-esteem wasn’t considered a birthright.

            I loved America more before Barack Obama told us a pack of lies in order to get elected, and when the lies were eventually exposed, many millions of Americans really didn’t care.

            I loved America more when vulgarians, bullies and half-wits, were people to be avoided, and not admired, mimicked, and rewarded with their own TV shows and fan clubs.

            I loved America more when people came here to fit in, learn the language and change their national loyalty, not merely their address.

            I loved America more when Supreme Court justices were expected to be experts when it came to the U.S. Constitution, not a bunch of bleeding hearts who could moonlight as social workers or, God forbid, community organizers.

            I used to love America more when we all admired people who shouted “Give me Liberty, or give me Death!” to King George and “Nuts!” to the Nazis, and not someone who bows, scrapes and apologizes to our enemies.

            Finally, I loved America more when America seemed to love itself more.

by Burt Prelutsky

Clearly, the only people who actually believe that the flotilla that attempted to break the Israeli blockade was on a humanitarian mission are so dumb they’re living proof that a person doesn’t have to be in a coma to be brain-dead.

            Ever since the Israelis were naïve enough to hand Gaza over to its sworn enemies, Hamas has shown its appreciation by showering them with thousands of missiles.  I keep wondering how many more times Israel will cede land for peace before they finally figure things out.  Lucy couldn’t pull the football trick on Charlie Brown half as many times as the Arabs have conned Israel into believing that their actual demands can be met with mere acreage.

            One of the big lies concocted over the past half century by those on the Left is the one in which they deny that they’re anti-Semites, that it’s not Jews they despise but merely the policies of the Israeli government.  Inasmuch as those policies consist of not allowing their Arab and Muslim enemies to slaughter them, it’s a denial that’s awfully hard to swallow.  How is it, you have to ask, that demonstrations against the national policies of China, North Korea, Iran, Syria, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Yemen and Cuba, never seem to take place in our streets or on our college campuses?

            Anyone who’s the least bit objective recognizes that Israel has to do everything in its power to prevent Iran from smuggling bigger and better missiles to Hamas.  And for its efforts, Israel finds itself being condemned by the U.N.  As bad and as ineffective as the League of Nations was, at least it gave its dais and its applause to Haile Sellassie and not to Mussolini.  The U.N., which has already greeted Hugo Chavez and Mahmud Ahmadinejad like rock stars, just as it used to do for Yasser Arafat, is a cancer in the midst of New York City.  It’s high time we booted it out of America, thus saving ourselves a lot of money and a lot of unnecessary annoyance.  This is a group, let us keep in mind, that did nothing about the genocide in Rwanda, and ignored North Korea’s sinking of the South Korean naval vessel and the murder of its 46 sailors.  But they couldn’t wait to defend a bunch of Hamas supporters who were, typical of humanitarians on the Left, armed with knives, iron clubs and Islamic curses.

            It’s not too surprising that Obama’s old chums, William Ayers and his wife, Bernadine Dohrn, along with Jodie Evans, who founded Code Pink, helped plan the flotilla.  Based on recent history, I fully expect that the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize will go to Mr. Ayers.

            Speaking of North Korea, when the Deepwater Horizon platform exploded and sank under mysterious circumstances, a rumor went around that a North Korean submarine had torpedoed it.  That sounded far-fetched, but so did the earlier sinking of the South Korean ship.  When I later discovered that the oil rig had been built by a major South Korean company, it didn’t sound unreasonable that Kim Jong-il would take the opportunity to strike South Korea and the U.S. a devastating blow for the price of a single piece of ordnance.

            It’s odd the way that Obama keeps telling us that the buck stops with him, and then immediately follows that up by blaming Bush and the Republicans for everything from the oil leak to his nicotine habit.  But one can’t help noticing that Obama much prefers talking tough to British Petroleum than to an actual enemy of this country, even though BP donated $71,000 to his 2008 campaign.  I guess those are the only bucks that actually stop with him.

            When he’s not kicking BP around, Obama is busy attacking Arizona.  You would think, judging by his passion, that Arizona had done something really dreadful, like sinking a shipload of sailors or attempting to build a nuclear bomb with the stated purpose of annihilating a neighboring state.  But those aren’t the kinds of things that tick off this president.  However, let a state decide to take a federal law seriously and try to enforce it, and watch him blow his stack.

            Some people have been shaking their heads over the incompetence Obama and his cronies displayed in trying to get Andrew Romanoff and Joe Sestak to bow out of their Senate primaries.  But I blame the media.  By this time, Obama had come to believe that he could get away with just about anything, and the media would cover his back.  After all, when Harry Reid said that bribing senators to vote for the administration’s health bill was just “business as usual” and Pelosi said there would be plenty of time to read the bill after it had been voted on, the ladies and gentlemen of the press had winked, chuckled and exchanged high-fives.

            My witty friend, Merrill Heatter, suggested that for the scuzzy role that Bill Clinton had played in the Sestak affair, he should be impeached and no longer get to be an ex-president.

            While I find it impossible to be bi-partisan when it comes to major issues, it’s a whole different story when it comes to political sleaze.  There’s plenty to go around.  Consider Mark Kirk ®, Richard Blumenthal (D) and Jan Brewer ®.  Both Kirk and Blumenthal lied about their military service.  In the case of Gov. Brewer, she had boasted that her father was killed fighting the Nazis.  But in fact he worked as a civilian supervisor at a naval munitions depot in Hawthorne, Nevada, during World War II, and died 10 years after the war ended.

            The governor, once her lie was discovered, explained that she meant that he had become ill while working around harmful chemicals at the depot, and that it eventually did him in.

            I see.  And if someone had died in a car crash while driving to the Lockheed plant in Burbank, California, in 1944, I suppose his survivors could claim that he’d died in battle…battling traffic.

            Isn’t it amazing that all these people who want us to trust them with our futures and the futures of our children and grandchildren can’t even be trusted to tell a simple truth about themselves?  And what will it take before these louts figure out that their lies are going to be found out and made public by their political foes?  Is it because they are constantly sheltered by their cronies and their boot-licking aides that they appear to be so oblivious to the hostile world outside their little cocoons?

            Well, just in case I ever decide to run for public office, there are probably a few statements I’ve made along the way that you may have somehow misconstrued.  To begin with, when I said that I had won an Academy Award, I meant to say that I had won an Academy Award bet when I wagered that “Hurt Locker” would beat out “Avatar” for the Oscar.  And when I said I was in the Baseball Hall of Fame, I meant that I had once visited the museum in Cooperstown.  And finally, when I said that I had served in the military and been awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for my heroic efforts in Vietnam, when I single-handedly wiped out 148 enemy soldiers and rescued twice that many of my fellow soldiers by carrying them piggy-back through a mine field, I misspoke.  I only meant that I had seen a lot of war movies when I was growing up.

by Burt Prelutsky

My wife told me she saw a TV show about a fellow who had survived being trapped in his car during a snowstorm for 14 days.  That, alone, seemed amazing, but the part I couldn’t believe was the survivor’s claim that he had forced himself to stay awake all that time, lest he fall asleep and never wake up.

            The truth, of course, is that I have no idea how long a person can keep going without sleep.  The longest I ever managed was three days when I crossed the country on a train years ago and discovered, to my considerable annoyance, that I was unable to sleep sitting up.  But even I, I’m certain, would have managed to doze off long before two weeks had elapsed if I had been taking a choo-choo to, say, Tokyo.

            Thinking about the guy in the snow got me to wondering how long a normal person could survive without food and water, and how long Obama could go without giving a speech.

            But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that the world can’t go even three days without a scapegoat.  It is therefore perfectly understandable that Obama can barely begin a sentence without blaming something or other on his predecessor.

            For most of the people of the world, Israel serves the same function as George Bush.  Unfortunately for the world, that requires them to align themselves with Arabs and Islamists who are not, under normal circumstances, the most endearing of people, given, as they are, to religious intolerance, brutality towards their own women, a general antipathy to education and free speech, and an affinity for blowing up anyone who takes exception to the Quran, draws a picture of Mohammad or questions the historical accuracy of the Protocols of Zion.

            Recently, a half-dozen boats left Turkey bound for Gaza.  Turkey, by the way, is an Islamic nation, which has over the past half dozen years reneged on its claim to being either secular or civilized.  The lie about the flotilla, widely promulgated by a corrupt world-wide media, was that these boats were filled with humanitarians accompanying food and medicine to the suffering souls being oppressed by the Israelis.  The fact of the matter was that Israel had long established a policy of trucking in such supplies once they had made certain that the Syrians, the Iranis and the Turks, weren’t smuggling in replacements for the thousands of missiles Hamas had showered upon them.

            Well, for openers, the “humanitarians” were affiliated with Hamas and other terrorist groups, and they were armed with knives, chains and iron pipes.  Anyone who insists these were the good guys is the sort of creep who would cheer for the lions against the Christians.

            In the wake of all this, Helen Thomas, the grand old doyen of the Washington press corps, whose own parents were immigrants from Lebanon, suggested that all the Israelis should go back where they came from.  When pressed as to where that would be, she laughingly replied, “Poland or Germany.”

            It so happens that by now a very large percentage of Israelis were born in Israel.  Most of their parents and grandparents didn’t migrate from Germany or Poland after World War II because the majority of those people had been murdered in Nazi concentration camps.  Many others came to Israel from the Soviet Union, Hungary, Ethiopia and the United States.  Even more came from the Middle East nations that had exiled them and confiscated their homes and businesses in the wake of Israel’s successfully defending itself in 1948 against the Arab legions representing Egypt, Jordan, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon and Saudi Arabia.

            Also, in case it escaped Ms. Thomas’s attention, after the end of World War II, a number of surviving Polish Jews tried returning to their homeland.  Well over a thousand of them were killed by Poles, who were not only a notoriously anti-Semitic people, but many of them had taken advantage of the War to confiscate Jewish property and feared they might have to give it back.

            As for post-war Germany, it was under the command of Gen. George Patton, who confided in his diary, as reported on by Allis and Ronald Radosh in their book, “A Safe Haven,” that Jews “are lower than animals.”

            Frankly, considering what a left-wing propagandist Helen Thomas has been during her entire career, I am delighted to see her damn herself to the same sort of media purgatory reserved for people like Walter Duranty and Dan Rather, who confuse celebrity with omnipotence, and personal bias with objective reporting.

            Normally, after witnessing Ms. Thomas’s spectacular fall from grace, I would say that Christmas came early this year, but I know that would be premature on my part.  Oh, Christmas will definitely come earlier than usual in 2010, but it won’t arrive until November 2^nd, otherwise known as Election Day.

by Burt Prelutsky

I noticed recently that Barack Obama was holding out an olive branch to the Taliban.  He claimed to recognize that some of them were not as radical as others.  I find it odd, though, that he can somehow spot nuances in terrorists 7,000 miles away, but every member of the Tea Party looks like a thug and a racist to him.

            If and when British Petroleum seals the oil leak at the bottom of the ocean, I hope they turn their attention to the current administration, which is leaking money at a record pace.  What’s more, I am in favor of their using mud, rubber tires or tar and feathers, just so long as it stops Obama, Pelosi and Reid, before they squander more.

            If you have ever wondered if the MSM is really as biased as people like Bernard Goldberg and I claim, you merely have to compare the way they covered the flooding of New Orleans in 2005 and the way they, not to mention Obama, ignored the flooding of Nashville this year.  Aside from the fact that the earlier disaster affected a city with a population that was 61% black and the Nashville flood affected a city in which only a quarter of the population was black, one would be hard-pressed to explain why the one in Louisiana was treated as if it were a tragedy of biblical proportions, while the deluge in Tennessee’s capital received the equivalent of a TV weatherman’s remarking that humidity had reached 100% in Nashville.

            The first time I heard that a huge mosque was going to be erected on the site of Ground Zero, I remember waiting for the punch line.  The next few times I heard the news, I assumed I was having a nightmare and would soon be awake.  Now I can only shake my head at the insanity.  What’s next?  A statue of Osama bin Laden on Capitol Hill?  As I understand it, it’s supposed to be a tribute of some sort to decent Muslims.  My question is, how many times are we going to honor Islam?  I would have thought that electing a guy named Barack Hussein Obama a scant seven years after the barbarians murdered 3,000 Americans was more than enough.

            Speaking of the president, I recently saw a bumper-sticker that read: What do Barack Obama and Osama bin Laden have in common?  They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.

            But I suppose 2010 is no time to be asking for a reality check.  After all, three of the people who were most directly responsible for the economic meltdown — Obama, Christopher Dodd and Barney Frank — are the same three mugs who insist they’re going to safeguard the American economy by making sure there are no restrictions on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac!

            Inasmuch as I reside in a state that keeps electing people like Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Henry Waxman, Maxine Waters and Brad Sherman, I realize I am not in the best position to throw stones, but will somebody please explain how it is that Barney Frank, who looks and sounds exactly like Elmer Fudd, keeps getting re-elected by the folks in Massachusetts.  Where’s Bugs Bunny when you really need him?

            Finally, proving that stupidity is no impediment to making a billion dollars, Ted Turner recently surmised that the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico could very well mean that God doesn’t want us to drill offshore.  He added that the recent mine disaster strongly suggested that the Lord is also tired of our digging for coal.  The interviewer, CNN’s Poppy Harlow, who is perhaps harboring the dream of some day being Mrs. Poppy Turner, didn’t bother asking the amateur theologian if the deaths and destruction caused by hurricanes and cyclones indicate that God also doesn’t want us to employ wind power, and if skin cancer tells us all we need to know about how He feels about solar energy.

            If only 80-proof bourbon could be used as a substitute for oil, we’d only have to hook up some wires to Mr. Turner and we’d soon be free of our dependence on the black gooey stuff.

            I must confess that every time I hear Turner bloviate, I’m grateful that he and Hanoi Jane didn’t have any children.  One can only imagine that the attending physician in the delivery room would have been Dr. Frankenstein.

by Burt Prelutsky

I believe it was Freud who first got credit for saying he didn’t know what women wanted.  Frankly, I don’t think he was half-trying.  Quite simply, women want a man who is rich, handsome, sexy, is as interested in fabrics and color as they are, who can get weepy at sunsets, tear up at Judy Garland singing “Over the Rainbow,” and whose favorite movie is “The English Patient.”  In short, they’re looking for a very successful interior decorator.  I say, good luck to them.  But it’s no wonder that so many married women feel they wound up settling.

            The folks who mystify me are liberals.  For instance, consider the way they speak.  Without even blushing, they refer to the “peace process” whenever they’re slapping down Israel.  No matter what that little tiny country does — be it defending itself against missile attacks and suicide bombers or building houses in Jerusalem — the lunkheads on the left will insist the Jews are jeopardizing the peace process.

            And just what exactly is the peace process to which Arabs, Muslims and just about every U.S. president since Carter pay lip service?  When you get past the P.R. spin, it’s the extinction of Israel!

            Another term the leftists toss around is the “international community.”  That has a high-sounding ring to it, which is why the nincompoops love it so much.  In fact, if by that particular community, one is referring to the members of the U.N., one is referring to a gang of chiselers, cowards and incompetents, representing the interests of gangsters, rogues and butchers.

            Frankly, I wouldn’t trust the creeps at the U.N. to run a 7/11, let alone the world.  Only a mushy-headed liberal would endow the organization with moral authority.  In fact, between the two groups, if I had to pick one, I’d vote for the Mafia, if only because it doesn’t rely on American tax dollars to survive.

            Another term liberals like to use is “misspeak.”  Recently, Richard Blumenthal, candidate for the U.S. Senate, claimed he misspoke when he went around claiming he’d served in Vietnam.  It seems he’d never even been there for a vacation, let alone a war.

            When a person says, “They is coming over for dinner,” he has misspoken, using “is” for “are.”  What Blumenthal did was lie.  Then to compound his sin, he held a press conference after his lies were uncovered by the NY Times, and claimed he was taking complete responsibility.  Yet another lie.  If this schlemiel was taking complete responsibility, he would have said, “I have lied to all of you.  I have shamed my friends and family.  At no point in my life have I possessed even an ounce of the courage displayed by the men who actually served and suffered in Vietnam.  If I stood on my tiptoes, I couldn’t reach their shoelaces.  I stand here today completely disgraced by my past words and actions in order to announce that I have tendered my resignation as attorney general of Connecticut and to withdraw from the Senate race.”

            Instead, this punk told the world that he was proud of his years of public service.  What’s more, he was applauded by several of the liberal yahoos in attendance, thus turning what was supposed to be his public confession into just another campaign speech.

            Years ago, liberals hated those who had served in Vietnam.  Back in the 1960s, mollycoddled left-wing kids who tried to make a virtue of the fact that they’d lacked the guts to serve in the military actually spat on returning vets and called them the vilest of names.  Flash forward and you have the disgusting spectacle of presidential candidate John Kerry donning a military jacket and announcing to cheering yahoos that he was “reporting for duty” and now you have Senate candidate Richard Blumenthal lying about having faced not only the horrors of war, but the public vilification by people exactly like himself!   

            Yet another thing that liberals love to lie about, on behalf of the corrupt teachers union, is the importance of a public school education.  For one thing, no politician in Washington, D.C., would think of sending his own children to a public school — and that means every beneficiary of the union’s slush fund, including Obama and the members of the Black Congressional Caucus.

            Also, if education is so bloody important, why is it that the Democrats seem to have turned Capitol Hill into a no-read zone?  First there were all those 2,000-page bills being voted on by people who bought into Nancy Pelosi’s suggestion that there would be plenty of time to figure them out after they were passed; and there was Arizona’s immigration bill that had the liberals in a proper tizzy even though such administration heavyweights as Eric Holder, Janet Napolitano and P.J. Crowley, all admitted weeks after its passage that they’d all been too busy to read it.

            I mean, as lies go, this one probably isn’t quite as egregious as Blumenthal’s.  Besides, it was so darn blatant, it actually made me laugh.  I mean, did anybody in America really believe that the attorney general, the head of homeland security and the State Department’s spokesman, couldn’t spare five minutes to read a bill that was just slightly longer than a menu, before attacking it with pitchforks?

            The really embarrassing thing about this particular lie is that it highlights just how contemptuously these airheads regard those of us who aren’t Obama’s acolytes.

            Otherwise, wouldn’t Holder, Napolitano or Crowley, at least have said, “I took it home, fully intending to read the bill, but my dog ate it.”

by Burt Prelutsky

It’s a common misconception that the Civil War was waged over slavery.  The fact is there were southerners who opposed the evil practice of slavery and northerners who didn’t.  Abe Lincoln’s primary motive was the preservation of the Union, even if he had to suspend habeas corpus to do it, and even if it cost the lives of 600,000 Americans.

            Slavery was of little concern to Lincoln.  That’s why the Emancipation Proclamation proclaims “all persons held as slaves within the rebellious states are, and henceforward, shall be free.”  That meant that the status of slaves residing in the border states remained unchanged.  What’s more, the Proclamation wasn’t even issued until January 1, 1863, which was nearly two years after a Confederate commander, P.G.T. Beauregard, triggered the bloodiest war in American history by firing on Fort Sumter.

            The reason I’m bringing up this ancient history isn’t because I’m growing nostalgic for mint juleps on the veranda, but because I just found out about a young man who was denied the opportunity to enlist in the U.S. Marines because he had a tattoo of the Confederate flag on his arm.

            Now, I can understand why the Marines wouldn’t want someone decorated with a gang tat or a swastika in the barracks, but making the Corps a Confederate flag-free zone just strikes me as asinine.

            The argument is that there are other Marines who would take umbrage at the tattoo and would regard it as racially provocative.  No doubt the Corps includes many men whose great-great-great-grandfathers were slaves.  The assumption, therefore, is that the only people who’d adorn themselves with the Stars and Bars are racists.  Well, even though I’m not a southerner, I’m ready to believe that most people who sport the flag are merely paying tribute to their own great-great-great-grandfathers, men who fought and often died fighting for their belief in states rights, and who felt a greater love for and loyalty to Mississippi, Georgia and South Carolina, than they did to Washington, D.C.  They were also fighting to protect their homes, their wives and their children, from the likes of Gen. Sherman and the various gangs of marauders who laid waste to everything and everyone below the Mason-Dixon Line.

            In short, most southerners were not slave owners and neither were they Satan’s spawn.

            All my life, I’ve thought that the Marines were the tough guys who, against impossible odds, fought our country’s battles from the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli.  Now they suddenly appear to be terrified of the way they’ll be perceived from the lecture halls of Harvard and the editorial boardroom of the New York Times.

            Personally, it strikes me as a very sad day when the motto of the Marines goes from semper fi to semper P.C.

            Just for the record, I don’t like tattoos.  For the life of me, I don’t understand why people would put art on their bodies that they’d never think of displaying on their walls.  Still, if a guy can’t have a Confederate flag on his bicep, why is it okay to have an American flag?  After all, slavery only existed under the one flag from 1861-1863, but it had existed under the Stars and Stripes for 85 years, ever since 1776.

            Inasmuch as anyone enlisting in the Marines knows that he is quite likely going to be taking orders from black NCOs, it figures that only a racist who is also a masochist would even consider entering the ranks of the few and the proud.

            Racists, as we all know, join the Aryan Nation, the KKK and the Democratic party.  Patriots join the Marines.

by Burt Prelutsky

When I read that Americans had responded to the earthquake in Haiti by donating over a billion dollars to relief efforts, I was amazed once again at the generosity of my fellow citizens.  Even though they, themselves, are suffering through an economic meltdown, they once again opened their purses, their wallets and their hearts, in order to help out suffering strangers.  Even though at least half of the donors were conservatives, those very folks that left-wingers deride as bigots, the recipients were black men, women and children.

Speaking of bigotry, I have no idea if I’ll be supporting Mitt Romney in 2012, but I do wish that everyone could get past his religion.  Those people who have a different faith should understand that the tenets, symbols and traditions, of every religion appear odd, to say the least, to outsiders.  In some cases, they can seem absolutely daffy.  But this is America; we’re entitled to be odd or at least appear that way to others.  But unless someone is an Islamic fundamentalist or a Satanist — or do I repeat myself? — one’s religion shouldn’t preclude a decent person’s being elected president.

            That brings me to the current resident of the White House.  I am still somewhat mystified as to how someone who climbed out of the sewer of Chicago politics by standing on the shoulders of Bill Ayers, Tony Rezko and Jeremiah Wright, ever made it to the Oval Office.  Granted, Hillary Clinton was caught flat-footed and John McCain ran such a terrible race that if he’d been a racehorse, they would have had him undergo a urine test.

            Still, in what parallel universe would a guy who boasted that the high point of his career was that he’d been a community organizer be elected the leader of the free world?  After stating that the trouble with the U.S. Constitution and the Civil Rights movement was that they didn’t deal with the redistribution of the nation’s wealth, I wonder how is it that he got a thousand votes, let alone 62 million.  He was also the chowder-head who, after saying that America was the greatest nation on earth, insisted that it was his mission to radically transform it! 

            Frankly, I think it was a classic case of Pygmalionism.  Americans, thanks in great part to the most rancid media this side of China, were mesmerized by the mantra of Hope and Change.  Voters were encouraged to think of politics in terms of a fairy tale, as if Obama was Prince Charming and that empty slogan was code for “And they all lived happily ever after.”

            The more Obama talked, the more, it seemed, poor, ugly men were lulled into thinking they’d become rich and handsome, while homely women came away believing they’d become beautiful and be pursued by rich, handsome men.

            Pygmalionism, as you probably guessed, is the state of being in love with an object of one’s own making.  These days, it’s also known as Obamaism.

            The confounding aspect of all this is how so many people who regard religion as a sham, and who have nothing but contempt for Christianity and Judaism, continue to believe that Obama is the messiah.

            That brings us to Rev. Franklin Graham, who was first invited to address the Pentagon on the National Day of Prayer, and then was uninvited after a couple of Muslims complained.

            I am not a Christian and I have never met Rev. Graham, but I was outraged after hearing about this.  Since when does the intolerance of a few nullify the wishes of the many?  This is not to suggest that a minority should be deprived of their say, but nowhere is it written that they are entitled to the final say.

            From my vantage point, it appears that even after the Pentagon’s cowardly policy of political correctness led directly to the murders of 13 innocent Americans at Fort Hood, the military still hasn’t learned its lesson.

            Under Bill Clinton, homosexuals in the service were advised not to tell and the brass was ordered not to ask.

            Under Barack Obama, it seems that the policy is still in place, except now it’s being directed at Christians.

by Burt Prelutsky

            Cinco de Mayo has come and gone for another year, but the stench of political correctness lingers on.

            By this time, every liberal airhead from San Francisco’s Mayor Gavin Newsome to New York’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg has piled on Arizona’s Governor Brewer.  And, although I may have misunderstood them, I’m pretty sure I heard President Obama and Attorney General Holder agree that a large fence should finally be built.  Not at our southern border, however, but around Arizona.

            On the other hand, it’s nice to know that there is at least one state that Obama is prepared to get tough with, even if it’s not Iran, Syria or North Korea.

            As for those kids in Morgan Hill, California, who thought Cinco de Mayo was a good time to wear clothes decorated with Old Glory to school, I can only say they should have known better.  These days, the only country we Americans are discouraged from honoring is our own.  In today’s climate, the five kids were probably lucky they were merely sent home by the vice-principal and not horse-whipped during lunch.

            In California, things have reached such a sorry state, that textbooks, no doubt taking their lead from Obama, pay tribute to Islam, but not Christianity or Judaism.  Students are even told to come to school one day during the semester dressed as a Muslim.  Suicide bombs, I believe, are optional.

            One Latina student at Live Oak High School said it was disrespectful of Daniel Galli and his four friends to wear their flags on a day meant to honor Mexicans.  She compared Cinco de Mayo to the 4^th of July.  This tells me something about the way that history is taught in Morgan Hill.  July 4^th, after all, celebrates the birth of the United States, and is a date that should be celebrated in every freedom-loving nation on the face of the earth.  Cinco de Mayo, on the other hand, commemorates a day in 1862 when the Mexicans defeated the French at the Battle of Puebla.

            Just for the record, it was about 40 years ago that I drove down to Tijuana in order to write a piece about the way the occasion was celebrated south of the border.  The answer, I discovered, is that it wasn’t.  When I asked Tijuanans if there was a parade or a festival on the schedule, they said “Que?” a lot, and gave me even funnier looks than I was accustomed to getting.  In short, it is of such minor importance that even Mexicans don’t know about it.

            Now, even though I think the Hispanic kids and the vice-principal at Live Oak High over-reacted, I must confess that I am all in favor of reminding people of any event in which the French are embarrassed. 

Still, the fact that they actually fought a battle, even one that took place 148 years ago, is newsworthy in itself.  How the event happened to take place at Puebla is open to conjecture.  For my part, I can only assume that the French soldier in charge of carrying the white flag either overslept or dawdled over his morning espresso.

by Burt Prelutsky

There was a time when people could disagree about politics and still feel mutual  respect and even affection for one another, but I think that time has passed.  Although there are still a few liberals in my circle of friends and acquaintances, the circle keeps getting smaller, and the price of maintaining the relationship is generally biting one’s tongue.

            In this day and age, I feel no qualms about judging another person’s character, values and patriotism, by the politics he espouses.  Which should explain in general terms why I despise Barack Obama.

            We’ve been constantly reminded that the Koran justifies Muslims lying with impunity to non-believers so long as it’s done to further the cause of Islam.  How is that any different from the belief system of left-wingers?

            Whether it’s insisting that global warming is going to raise ocean levels by 20 feet; that heterosexual AIDS is a major health concern; that law-abiding Americans can’t be trusted with guns; that every nation and every culture is superior to our own; that illegal aliens and Islamic jihadists are entitled to all the rights and privileges of U.S. citizens; that providing 31 million additional people with health insurance will save us billions of dollars; that Supreme Court justices should essentially be social workers who get to wear their robes to work; that drilling for oil and digging for coal are evil endeavors; that windmills and sunbeams can supply all the energy a modern industrial nation needs; that Christian symbols should be eliminated from the national landscape; and that the redistribution of personal wealth is a moral imperative; liberals display an arrogant disdain for traditional American virtues, not to mention logic and commonsense.

            When someone like Eric Holder, after weeks of threatening to litigate against Arizona’s immigration law, tells a congressional committee that he hasn’t had time to read its 15 pages, and then compounds that lie by refusing to acknowledge that radical Islam might even partially explain the peculiar behavior of Major Hasan, along with the underwear bomber and the Times Square terrorist, you realize that the only person scarier than the attorney general is the psychopath who appointed him.

            Whenever I write a general attack on liberals, I can count on hearing from someone who denies my contentions by pointing out, say, that he himself is not for gun control or that he recognizes that Nancy Pelosi isn’t exactly Mother Teresa.  Although I always try to reply in courteous fashion, in my head, I’m thinking, “Well, duh.”

            Such people should understand that when I or anyone else on the right complains about the evils of liberalism, we’re not pretending to have interviewed every single idiot who opted for Hope and Change in 2008.  We are referring to the leaders who speak for them, nincompoops like Obama, Reid, Pelosi, Napolitano, Waxman, Schumer, Kerry and Barney Frank, who pay lip service to democracy, but then label millions of their fellow Americans who happen to be engaged in the Tea Party movement — which, by the way, is a far more demonstrably democratic group than the House or Senate — as thugs, racists and brainless rabble.

            Liberals call conservatives intolerant, but their own tolerance never seems to extend to those who disagree with their plan to radically transform America.  On college campuses around the country, these lovers of free speech constantly shout down those trying to take advantage of the First Amendment.

            On those same campuses, the professors praise the likes of Mao, Fidel and Che.  As a result, the students voice hatred of Israel, and they demonstrate on behalf of suicide bombers and other Islamic fruitcakes.

            High profile members of the pop culture such as Michael Moore, Rosie O’Donnell, Jon Stewart, Joy Behar, Bill Maher and Janeane Garofalo, pander to the dumbest of the dumb, and are then heralded for their candor, their courage and their cutting-edge wit.

            Oliver Stone proudly strolls hand in hand with Hugo Chavez at a film festival, and Sean Penn wants anyone who calls Chavez a dictator to be arrested.  Steven Spielberg confesses that the seven hours he spent with Fidel Castro were the most important hours of his life.

            James Cameron, who condemns American technology for destroying the planet, sees no irony in the fact that he spent hundreds of millions of dollars on American technology in order to make a 3-hour movie about the evils of American technology.  Being as intellectually myopic as he obviously is helps explain why there is not even a glimmer of humor in any of his films.

            Half of Hollywood has signed a petition on behalf of child rapist Roman Polanski, demanding that he not be prosecuted for his vile crime.  For my part, I would have thought it was more than enough that the shameless brown noses showed their support for the pervert by giving him an Oscar a few years ago.

            Woody Allen, who’s old enough to know better, said, “It would be good if Obama could be dictator for a few years because he could do a lot of good things quickly.”  Allen, who was also old enough to know better than to take nude photos of his teenage step-daughter, added, “I am pleased with Obama.  I think he is brilliant.  The Republican Party should get out of his way and stop trying to hurt him.”

            In case any of you have ever wondered why all the Jews who might have left didn’t get out of Germany before Hitler could translate “Mein Kampf” into national policy, perhaps Woody Allen’s remarks will provide at least a partial answer.  Maybe they, too, thought it would be a good idea if Hitler could be dictator for a few years.

            Hollywood is a community of like-minded idiots who are terribly concerned with things that pollute the atmosphere, such as cigarette smoke and carbon emissions, but take no responsibility for polluting the culture with pornography, vulgarity, rap music and movies that inevitably portray businessmen as villains, American soldiers as sadists and conservatives as morons.

            In the meantime, we see the President of the United States talking trash to the people of Arizona while bowing and scraping to the President of Mexico.  We also see his assistant secretary of state, a guy named Michael Posner, a wuss who no doubt spent his high school years being given well-deserved wedgies, denouncing Arizona to those paragons of virtue and defenders of human rights, the Red Chinese!

            Speaking of Obama, I must confess that I long for the early days of his administration when it was simply the content of his speeches that made me nauseous.  But I guess he got tired of being teased about having to rely on teleprompters to say “Good evening,” because, of late, as if to pretend he is speaking off the cuff, he has begun swiveling his head like a metronome every few seconds.

            Someone should tell him it’s not fooling anyone.  We all know that he’s now using two teleprompters, one on each side, and I, for one, wish he’d stop.  Listening to him was bad enough, but watching him these days is making me seasick.

by Burt Prelutsky

Several years ago, I noticed that nearly every symphony orchestra conductor seemed to have guzzled from the Fountain of Youth.  Nearly without exception, they lived well into their 80s and 90s.

            Lately, I found that the same held true for the men who direct movies.  Such world-famous directors as George Cukor, Alfred Hitchcock, Charlie Chaplin, Howard Hawks, Robert Altman, Sam Fuller, Luis Bunuel, Richard Brooks, Sax Rohmer, David Butler, King Vidor, Henry Hathaway, Jean Renoir, David Lean, Michael Powell, Abe Polonsky, George Sidney, Akira Kurosawa and Laurence Olivier, all made it well into their 80s; and Mel Brooks, 84; Alain Resnais, 88; Bryan Forbes, 84; Stanley Donen, 86; and Carl Reiner, 88; are still with us.

            Furthermore, Frank Capra and Elia Kazan each made it to 94, while Jules Dassin and Billy Wilder didn’t cash in their chips until they hit 96.  Finally, Leni Riefenstahl, Hitler’s favorite director, unfortunately hung around to 101.

            Another vocation that someone seeking longevity should consider is being a member of the House or Senate.  Not all of them reach the century mark as Strom Thurmond did, but it’s such a great life that none of them who can still breathe and have even the slightest chance of winning their next election, ever give a thought to retiring.  Robert Byrd, who’s 93 and hasn’t said a coherent thing since asking for ketchup with his fries in the Senate dining room in 1974, is just getting his second wind.

            Finally, if I were, God forbid, a high school counselor urging youngsters to seek a career promising longevity, I would have them consider becoming some country’s dictator.  While there are certain risks involved that can result in shorter life expectancies than normal, Hitler, 56, Mussolini, 62 and Tojo, 64, were clearly exceptions to the rule.

            Idi Amin, in spite of an unhealthy diet that allegedly included human beings, made it to 78, Kim Il-Sung to 82 and Mao tse-tung to 83.  In the meantime, Cuba’s Castro brothers, Fidel and Raul, along with Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe, are unfortunately still alive and kicking at 84, 79 and 86, respectively.

            The moral of all this is that if you have your heart set on making it to old age, whether you choose to be a conductor, a director, a senator or a dictator, the most important thing is that you spend your life bossing other people around.

            Which, come to think of it, might also help to explain why wives generally outlive their husbands. 

by Burt Prelutsky

By this time, I’m sure we’ve all seen those posters of George W. Bush captioned “Miss Me Yet?”  I, personally, think things have gotten so bad in Obama’s America that I wouldn’t be surprised if we begin seeing those same posters springing up with Jimmy Carter’s picture.

When I read that Sen. Dianne Feinstein had said, “I’ve gotten over 90,000 emails and faxes on the health care bill and over 85,000 of them are against it.  After all the debate we’ve had, I can’t believe so many people still don’t get it,” I recall wondering if Obama’s arrogance was a contagious disease for which there’s no known antidote.

That reminds me that William F. Buckley, Jr., once observed that, “Liberals claim they want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”

He was also the conservative sage who once told a left-winger, “I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting you really believe what you just said.”  Does a single day go by when most of us haven’t wished to say those very words to Robert Gibbs?

            One of the sneakiest, most despicable things that left-wingers do is play racial politics, and when you call them on it, they get to brand you as racists.

            For instance, affirmative action was created in order to give racial preferences to blacks in order to make amends for slavery and Jim Crow laws.  But after nearly 50 years, try to suggest it’s time to put racial quotas aside, and you will find yourself tarred as a racist.

            For the past 30 years, Islamics around the world have targeted Americans, but suggest that they constitute a toxic menace and you’re labeled a racist.

            For the past quarter century, millions of Mexicans, who were not escaping political oppression, have felt entitled to stream across our border, to take advantage of our schools and hospitals, to fill our streets with drugs and flood our jails with criminals, and if we even complain about it, we’re called racists.

            The unfortunate thing is that just as the Communists perverted the meaning of “comrade” and homosexuals perverted the meaning of “gay,” the self-righteous leftists have perverted “racist.”  It no longer means a person who is racially intolerant, who would harm or subjugate another human being because of his skin color, but, instead, denotes someone who really is color-blind and who judges people solely on the basis of their character.

            Today, the reality is that someone who attacks other people — for instance, members of the Tea Party — as racists, is, more likely than not, a racist, himself, who refuses to look beyond pigmentation.

            Finally, I’ve been mulling over the “South Park” brouhaha.  In case you somehow missed hearing about it, “South Park,” a dopey little TV series that hypes itself as being cutting edge satire, aired an episode in which Mohammad was first pictured as a stick figure and then as a teddy bear.  That, predictably, set off fireworks in the Muslim world, where cartoons are reason enough to set off a killing spree, as are the mishandling of the Koran, tracking mud into a mosque and hiding the TV remote.

            Suicide bombings, on the other hand, trouble them not at all.  In fact, blow up a school bus, a pizza parlor or an American skyscraper, and you automatically get dibs on the prettiest girls in Paradise.

            But just maybe we non-Muslims have been barking up the wrong tree.  Maybe those crazies don’t object to every depiction of their prophet, they just get their shorts in a knot when they see him pictured as a teddy bear or, as in that Danish cartoon, as a bearded, wild-eyed, goofus wearing a turban shaped like a bomb.  I suggest, as a test, we try making him look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney.  If they still go berserk and insist they’ve been insulted, I say we stick Mohammad in a dress, lipstick and high heels, and quit pussyfooting around.

by Burt Prelutsky

In case you missed it, Speaker Pelosi recently urged Catholic priests to use their bully pulpits to promote immigration reform, which, translated into English, means an amnesty that would immediately entitle illegal aliens to vote for Democrats.  Now, I’m not a Catholic, but it seems to me that someone who believes that abortions on demand are guaranteed under the Bill of Rights has a lot of gall telling priests what to say during their Sunday sermons.

            When it comes to abortions, something that has confounded me for the longest time was why those in favor of it got to identify themselves as Pro-Choice.  After all, the opposite of Pro-Life isn’t Pro-Choice, it’s Pro-Death.

            When I was a youngster, a popular putdown was “If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?”  But when people like Michael Moore, Michael Bloomberg and George Soros, say so many really dumb things, it seems a more appropriate question would be, “If you’re so rich, why aren’t you smart?”

            That brings us to Sen. Barbara Boxer.  Recently, the L.A. Times, a newspaper so infatuated with the Left that they’d endorse Hugo Chavez if he moved here and ran for public office, announced they wouldn’t be backing Boxer in the primary because she lacked “intellectual firepower.”  For those of us who have listened to her blather on for the past 18 years, that description smacked of English understatement.

            Still, what does that say for all those other liberals who vote exactly the same way she does, and what does it say about the Times editorial staff that they have no problem endorsing any of them?

            I wonder if, after she loses the election in November, Mrs. Boxer will continue to admonish Brig. General Michael Walsh if they run into each other and he refers to her as “ma’am.”

            One can’t help thinking that the L.A. Times, which has been on life support for the past decade, is, at this late date, attempting to con all of its former conservative subscribers into thinking it’s seen the error of its knee-jerk liberal ways.  Well, speaking for myself, it won’t work.  Fool me 4,893 times, shame on you; fool me 4,894 times, shame on me.

            The MSM has been dying for years and I, for one, can’t wait to attend the official wake.  Something that will hasten that happy day is the shameful way in which the mass media has covered the Tea Party movement.  If the media weren’t so myopic, they would have realized that by labeling its members as thugs, Nazis, rubes and racists, it was slitting its own throat.  The members of the media actually chuckled when Obama, Pelosi and their various stooges, maintained that this authentic grass roots movement was really composed of Astroturf, bought and paid for by the Republican party.

            The people who turned out for Tea Party events were regular, decent, patriotic Americans who had been content to go to work, raise their kids, pay their taxes, love their country and occasionally go to war to defend it.  The one thing they weren’t prepared for was finding themselves, their friends and their neighbors, vilified for their virtues.  But once they woke up to the fact that their gatherings were either ignored completely or, when covered, had the turnout reported as a fraction of their actual numbers, they began to see the members of the MSM for the liars, bigots and insufferable snobs they are.  What’s more, when the Tea Partiers saw their president, who ran as the post-racial unifier, demean them to a fawning media, they could see for themselves that those of us who had been calling the MSM a gang of Fifth Columnists had been speaking the God’s honest truth.

            The big surprise is that these days, Barbara Boxer agrees with us.

by Burt Prelutsky

When I first heard Joe Biden going ballistic over Israel’s plans to build housing in Jerusalem, I thought I must be dreaming.  But when Secretary of State Clinton voiced her own outrage, insisting that Israel’s making such an announcement while our vice president was in Israel, was an insult not only to Biden, but to the United States, I realized that not even in those dreams where I’m tall, good-looking and know how to play the piano, have I been so out of touch with reality.

            After all, these were the same two people who have been so careful not to insult Iran or any of the other gangster states in Africa or the Middle East, lowering the boom on an ally for doing something as benign as building housing for its citizens.  Which, it seems to me, isn’t quite as bad as developing a nuclear bomb while vowing to annihilate one of its neighbors.

            It took New York’s Daniel Greenfield, who writes under the nom de blog of Sultan Knish, to bring some pertinent facts to light, for which I am in his debt.

            In 1990, it seems that Sen. Biden co-sponsored Senate Concurrent Resolution 106, which resolved that Congress acknowledge that Jerusalem is and should remain the capital of Israel and remain an undivided city.

            In 1992, Biden also co-sponsored Senate Consecutive Resolution 113, which resolved that Congress congratulates the people of Israel on the 25^th anniversary of the reunification of that historic city; that Congress believes that Jerusalem must remain an undivided city; and called upon the President and the Secretary of State to issue an unequivocal statement in support of those principles.

            In 1995, Biden co-sponsored, along with such colleagues as John McCain, Harry Reid, John Kerry, Joe Lieberman and Ted Kennedy, Senate 1322, stating that Jerusalem should remain an undivided city and should be recognized as the capital of Israel.

            As late as 2001, Joe Biden said, “Why is it that the one ally we have in that part of the world is the one that we feel we have the right to publicly chastise?  We would not do that with any other friend.  Such criticism emboldens those in the Middle East and around the world who still harbor as their sacred goal the elimination of Israel.  It’s not for you to tell them, nor for me, what is in their best interest.”

            What a shame that V.P. Biden never had the opportunity to meet and speak to Sen. Biden.

            For her part, Hillary Clinton, in 2007, issued a statement claiming that she believed that “Israel’s right to exist safely as a Jewish state, with defensible borders and an undivided Jerusalem as its capital, secure from violence and terrorism, must never be questioned.”

            What a shame that Secretary of State Clinton never had the opportunity to meet and speak to Sen. Clinton.

            I suppose one could say that’s just Joe being Joe and Hillary being Hillary, just liberals trolling for Jewish votes and campaign contributions.  Now that they’re no longer running for office, perhaps they no longer feel compelled to lie about their true feelings.

            For his part, Barack Obama, in 2008, gave a campaign speech in which he said, “Jerusalem will remain the capital of Israel, and it must remain undivided.”  Perhaps his teleprompter malfunctioned on that occasion, because the very next day, he explained that he actually was in favor of dividing Jerusalem, but he didn’t want barbed wire to be used to divide it.

            If one is to draw any insights from all this, it might be that liberal senators only tell you the truth when they’re no longer running for office, and that Barack Obama, who seems to be okay with nukes in the hands of Muslims, draws a line in the sand when it comes to barbed wire.

by Burt Prelutsky

When you’re a right-winger living in California, you tend to envy people who live elsewhere.  For a long time, I’ve envied Texans.  For one thing, judging by my email, most of my biggest fans seem to live in the Lone Star State.  But, also, aside from an occasional cretin like Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, Texans seem to elect more than their share of stalwart conservatives.

            Another state I came to admire was Oklahoma.  That was after discovering that it was the only state in the Union in which Obama failed to carry a single county in 2008.

            Now, of course, I’ve lost my heart to Arizona.  At last, a state has sounded the alarm about illegal aliens.  Sure it was a long time coming, but at least Gov. Jan Brewer and the Arizona legislature have finally stood up for the law of the land.  Even John McCain, who has spent years sounding like an immigration lawyer, jumped aboard the bandwagon.

            On the other side, we have virtually every hack politician with a Hispanic last name ready and eager to display his ignorance, bigotry and lack of patriotism.  I mean, really, is there an uglier, more disgusting sight than a bunch of dunderheads complaining about racial profiling when their own actions and statements are based solely on race?

            Arizona has been over-run by at least half a million illegals who have placed unbearable burdens on its schools, hospitals and emergency rooms.  They have made Phoenix the kidnap capital of North America and turned its countryside into an open sewer for drug smugglers.  It took the cold-blooded murder of an elderly rancher before the good folks of Arizona said, enough is enough.

            We keep hearing the same stale propaganda that these sneaks are the people who’ll do the jobs that gringos won’t.  Well, I have a news flash: With unemployment hovering at 10%, if those jobs ever existed in the past, they don’t exist today.  Besides, why should they get the jobs that could go to people waiting patiently for their names to be called in Ghana, Poland and Vietnam?

            The only people who oppose Arizona’s new law– a law based, by the way, on our own federal law — are members of the Catholic Church hierarchy who are anxious to fill church pews; drug lords who want to maintain a steady flow of product, users and salesmen; President Calderon, who wants those American dollars to continue flowing south in order to keep the Mexican economy afloat; American politicians with names like Hernandez and Gomez, who want to increase their power base, and punks like Mayor Gavin Newsome who represent places as left and loony as San Francisco.  We shouldn’t overlook the DNC, an organization so corrupt that Mafia dons attend their seminars in order to pick up tips from the likes of James Carville and Rahm Emanuel.

            The fact is, when you see these people all agreeing about public policy, it’s safe to assume it’s going to take its toll on your heart, your head and your wallet.  In much the same way, the savvy among us know it always makes sense to vote against any bond issue supported by unions.

            In my opinion, it should be a criminal act for anyone to compare the new law in Arizona in any way, shape or form, to what took place in Nazi Germany.  Hitler, in case it slipped your mind, was arresting, torturing and murdering, Germans for no other reason than that they were Jews, Catholics, gypsies, invalids and homosexuals.  Members of the Gestapo weren’t simply asking to look at green cards and sending non-citizens back to Poland, France and Holland.  They were sending them to Auschwitz.

            Ironically, Article 67 of Mexico’s Immigration Law states: “Authorities, whether federal, state or municipal, are required to demand that foreigners prove their legal presence in the country.”  In spite of which, President Calderon had the gall to compare our border fence to the Berlin Wall.  Nobody bothered pointing out to the jackass that there’s a world of difference between building a barrier to keep illegal aliens out and erecting one to prevent one’s own citizens from escaping.

            Frankly, I’m shocked that the millions of Hispanics who were born here or who came here legally aren’t raising a stink about those who are sneaking in.  After all, it’s also their tax dollars that are being squandered supporting the illegals and their own jobs that are being lost and their own wages that are being under-cut.

            And how odd is it that leftists, who seem to prefer everything European to anything American never mention that tourists on the Continent are required to show their passports on a regular basis.  So, apparently, it’s only the United States that’s not supposed to protect its borders from uninvited freeloaders.

            Anyone who has the audacity to suggest that Americans are bigots because we tend to be slightly more suspicious of 25-year-old Saudis boarding airplanes and 25-year-old Mexicans loitering around Home Depots is either a hermit who has spent the past few decades living in a cave or a politician pandering for cheap votes.

            Believe me, when Swedes start blowing up our buildings and 12 million Aussies try sneaking across our border, we’ll be equally suspicious of tall blonds and guys who call us “mates” and keep asking us to toss another shrimp on the “barbie.”